A NEW CHAPTER: WHERE & WHY I'M MOVING

This is difficult to write for many reasons. So much has changed and happened this year. And well, sometimes you have to close one chapter in order to welcome a new one.

It’s bittersweet to announce; I am leaving New York City and moving to Atlanta, Ga.

(it’s hard to even type those words out)

This hasn’t been an easy decision to make, especially during a pandemic. At first, it was really hard to come to grips with the fact that my last year living in NYC was mostly taken over by Covid-19. Being quarantined for months, and not being able to experience the city to it’s fullest is not how I imagined my last year here. But I realized that I’ve had an incredible 6 years here and I’ve been very lucky to call this city home. 

For those of you who may not know, I actually moved to New York City from Atlanta. I never saw myself living in New York until I visited a few times in my early 30s, and gradually fell in love with the city. As a bonus, my best friend was already living here and had been trying to convince me for years, to move to New York. In late 2014, I finally took the leap and made the moved here. At the time I was ready for a change, and New York seemed like the perfect place to experience big changes. You can read more here on my move to New York and my first year living in the city.

Initially, I moved with the intention of living in New York for a year to see how I would like living here. But one year turned into two, which turned into three, and then four and here I am, almost six years later. I never really thought twice about leaving, until this year. I think for many of us, 2020 has changed us and made us re-evaluate certain things in our lives. Especially living in New York City during COVID-19, it has been difficult and makes me wonder what the future holds for the city.

I absolutely love living in Manhattan and enjoy the city lifestyle. But I’ve come to realize that the older I get, the more I crave having a home, being closer to friends and family and maybe settling down one day. Living in New York City has provided me with so many amazing experiences and given me a new outlook on life in general. It helped make me into the person that I am today. And the more I think about it, New York City ultimately gave me everything I never even knew I needed, in a time when I needed it most. I have no regrets about picking up my life and moving here. It still remains to be one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.

But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Although this chapter of my life is coming to a close, I am excited for a new chapter to begin. And Atlanta is the next best place for me to do that.

With all that being said, I thought I would go ahead and answer a few questions that I’ve been asked so far from friends and family. Hopefully this helps to give more insight into my move.

WHY ATLANTA?!

For several reasons actually. I’ve aways planned to move back. I just didn’t know when that time would be exactly. I still have 75% of all my belongings in a storage unit there. I didn’t know how long I would be in NYC, so initially I placed everything in storage and have kept it there this entire time. Also, moving back down South puts me closer to my family. I have family in Florida, Alabama and Tennessee, so it will be nice to be within driving distance of them. And several of my closest girlfriends all live in ATL, so I’m really excited to be able to see them more often. Atlanta is also somewhere I see myself living a city lifestyle but also having the ability to slow down when needed.

HOW SOON ARE YOU MOVING?!

My lease ends October 1st, so I’ll most likely move the last week of September. I don’t have a firm date as of now, since I’m still finalizing plans.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR BLOG?!

I will still continue writing for my blog and sharing everyday life on Instagram. One of the reasons I named my blog Reinventing Rae, is because I wanted to share and document how we are constantly reinventing ourselves in life. Whether it be in our friendships, careers, relationships, or just our everyday personal lives. I hope to continue to share my life and expand content in new ways. I’ll still be sharing city life in Atlanta, in addition to beauty and lifestyle. Atlanta has grown so much over the past few years! And I’m excited to get to explore it all while sharing it with y’all. I also plan to create NEW content related to Entertaining and Home Decor, now that I’ll have a place of my own again. So needless to say, the blog isn’t going anywhere anytime soon!

WHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOMMATES YOU LIVE WITH NOW?!

Most of you know that I share an apartment with my best friend, Billy and his now husband Danny. They will continue to live in the city. W'e’ve had a great run all living together. I’ve known Will for over 15 years, and Danny for 7 years. We're more like family than friends. I’m definitely gonna miss them & having our family dinner nights along with all the laughs we’ve shared through the years.

WILL YOU BE BACK TO VISIT NYC?!

1000% YES!! I intend to visit as often as I possibly can. But obviously with current circumstances with Covid-19, I don’t know exactly when I’ll be back to the city. I’m hoping maybe sometime early next year or in the Spring. But for now, I definitely want to visit New York at least once a year.

Over the next month and a half, I’ll be sharing more of the moving process with y’all. I’ve actually already started packing. And next week, I’ll be traveling to Atlanta to look at apartments and finalize everything.

Although I’m sad to leave New York, I’m really excited for what’s to come. And I can’t wait to take y’all along for the journey.

XO, Dana Rae

HOW TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSER WHEN IT FEELS LIKE DISTANCE IS TAKING OVER

Photography by: Lauren Lucile Creative

If you’ve ever moved long distance away from friends, chances are you’ve experienced what it’s like to maintain those friendships. And more often than not, you may have even had some faded friendships due to the strain of the distance. When I moved to New York a little over 4 years ago, I was anxious to leave my friends behind for that exact reason.  And being that most of my friends were ones that I had met in my late twenties and early thirties, I was more determined than ever to hold on those friendships. I knew distance would play a factor, but I wanted to do whatever I could on my part to keep my closest girlfriends in my life. Because these wen’t just acquaintances, these were friendships in which we had all been through life’s highs and lows together. And when in you’re in your 30’s, good friends are hard to come by.

And like any relationship, I think if you can withstand the distance long term then you know those are your people. And luckily for me, distance has actually made my friendships stronger. Mostly due to the fact that we all make an effort to stay in touch. With that being said, it is a huge commitment for us to maintain friendships even though we are miles apart. It’s not easy and I definitely can feel like I’m missing out in their everyday lives sometimes. And because I know many of you may have in the past or currently experiencing this in your own friendships. I wanted to share some ways in which you can keep your friends closer even at a distance.

Image via Pinterest

Make a phone call/text

How many times do we say to friends;  “I’ve been thinking about you and just haven’t had a chance to call you”? Next time you have that thought, STOP and CALL that person. Because chances are if you don’t do it then, you’ll forget to later. If you’re not able to call, I personally love the voice message feature on iPhone that allows you to send a recorded voicemail via text message. It’s more personal than a text and easier to send when you don’t have a lot of time.  And if you’re not a phone person or maybe time in your day doesn’t allow for a phone call,  send a quick text just to say “I’m thinking of you, Let’s catch up soon!”. Or send a funny meme that you know your friend will get a laugh at. A simple message can help you and your friend be on each other’s radar, so to speak. This way it starts the conversation. And then you both can can be in touch to follow up on plans to have that catch up sesh you’ve been meaning to make time for.

Connect over FaceTime

Sometimes we just need that more personal connection with our friends especially if you don’t get to see them in person often. FaceTime or Video chat gives you both more of an opportunity to share real things going on in your lives.  And it also gives you a visual of what that looks like whether it be their home life or day to day life. You can even schedule a virtual wine night once a week/month to make it feel like you’re “hanging out” in person. Seeing each other over video helps you both to feel like you’re able to still have quality time together even miles apart.

Schedule a specific date and time to catch up

Discuss a specific date and/or time every week or month to talk over the phone. This will hold you both accountable and more likely to make good on the promise to catch up. Even if life gets busy and something comes up on that specific date, make an effort to reschedule to a new date & time right away.  We all have busy lives and realistically it can be hard to always make time for phone calls with friends. But I find that this helps to keep the momentum going by setting a specific goal.

Ask Questions/Be Present

This is so important, especially when you might not get to catch up as often as you used to. When in conversation, make sure to ask your friend detailed questions. Ask about their job, kids, significant others, passion projects and any other relevant things going on in their lives. Asking specific questions helps to get a feel of their every day life and the current events that they are experiencing. It’s all about making the most out of the time that you do have when catching up via phone, FaceTime or even text. The more thoughtful your questions are, it will help make you  both feel invested in each other’s lives. And it also leaves you with follow up questions for the next conversation.

Send a note

Sending cards to friends is a great way to show them that you’re thinking of them. And it doesn’t have to be for any particular reason other than just saying, HELLO.  Handwritten notes are one of those things that always make you feel special when received by a friend. But if you have limited time and want something that is easy to send with a note attached, I love using INK cards. An app that allows you to send custom greeting cards straight from your cell phone. Sometimes the simplest gesture is the most appreciated.

Plan a trip in person

This may be a little harder to do with busy schedules, but I think it’s important to try and make an effort to have real face to face time. Make a plan to visit each other at least once a year. Or if you live really far away from one another, try to pick somewhere you can meet in the middle. Even if it’s only for a weekend. This will give you both something to look forward to, not to mention that you both can plan out the trip and discuss things you want to do when you get there. There is nothing better than spending real quality time your friend who you haven’t seen in what feels like forever.

What have you found helpful when it comes to long distance friendships?! I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

XO, Rae

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

Lately, when talking to friends the same words seem to pop up in conversation, 'never say never'. I was reminded of these words again as I scrolled through Facebook this morning & looked back at an old status I wrote in 2010. 

I had no intentions on ever moving to New York City. I was perfectly content with my life in Atlanta. It was only tempting to move because my best friend had literally just moved from Atlanta to New York & I felt lonely. But I knew my life was in Atlanta and I had worked so hard to build that life. My career was just starting to come together & I was surrounded by the people I adored most. 

Fast forward almost 5 years later and life changed drastically. I started to be more open to the possibilities of leaving it all behind to pursue bigger things. Literally over a year's time I would contemplate the move to NYC. I was in a different head space than previously and I was ready to see what more was out there for me. So, I took a leap of faith and made the decision to move to NYC in the fall of 2014. The moment I actually committed to the idea, it seemed like everything fell into place. I didn't have any hesitations from that point on. Everyone was extremely supportive of my decision and not one person tried to convince me otherwise. So, I took all the encouragement and promised myself I would make the most of this new chapter. 

I didn't have a job lined up when I moved to New York. My plan was to take some time to get moved and adjusted to the city. I got anxious to get out there so 3 weeks after, I landed a position with one of the top medical practices. I was ecstatic to say the least. From my first interview, I knew this was the job for me. Immediately, I felt like I was taking NYC head on. But 6 months in, I couldn't do it anymore. I loved the job but the work environment was not ideal. It was not an easy decision for me but after a lot of consideration and countless nights crying over bad days at work, I made the decision to resign. The day I gave notice, I felt like I could breathe again. I didn't feel stressed or bad for what I had just done. I felt like it was what I had to do. I had never quit a job like that ever in my life. I've always held long term jobs ever since I was 15 years old. So, this was new territory for me. I didn't really have a plan B. And I was okay with that, for once. Which if you know me, I never not have things planned out. I'm a planner by default. But I knew I wasn't happy. I also remembered that I promised myself to live a different life here in New York by any means necessary. And I wasn't willing to compromise my happiness after leaving everything behind in Atlanta.

I wrote this Facebook status a year ago today (the day before my last day at my job):

A year later, I haven't looked back since. I took a chance on myself. And honestly I've never been happier. The past year has allowed me to get back to what's important in life. It has made me realize how unhappy I was all those years living at my job that I had always put above everything else. It has given me the opportunity to strip down to what I really want in life and what I never want to settle for. I've been blessed enough to be able to work from home, travel, write my blog and just enjoy living in this amazing city. 

My dream is to be an entrepreneur. And I'm hoping to make that happen sooner than later. I often let fear get in the way, but then I am reminded of how far I've come and all the things I've done that I never thought where even possibilities. So, I'm saying, never say never. Don't hold yourself back from things you want or deserve in your life. Everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe that. Be open to the possibilities of changing your mind. Trust the process and know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. 

XO, Rae

MOVING TO NEW YORK

Moving to New York has been by far the best decision I have ever made. Well...I say that NOW, maybe I should wait til I have lived here for at least a year?! Moving here was not always part of my plan but life changes sometimes and here I am.

Up until 7 months ago, I was living in Atlanta, Ga. I had a great job, amazing friends and a gorgeous apartment right outside of the city. So what changed?! Well...I changed. Two and half years ago, before turning 30, I began to see my life differently unlike before. I was a few years out of a long term relationship that was on again off again for longer than I like to admit to.

When I was with my ex, I was so sure of my life, my career and wanting to be married and have kids. I had always thought that I would be married and have kids before 30. I think most women feel the pressure of this for all sorts of reasons. But turning 30 was a game changer for me. I stopped worrying about where I was in life and started to focus on where I was going in life. For me, I was so worried about trying to have this list of accomplishments by the time I turned 30 and then realized that my life was just starting. I let go of my preconceived ideas and I let myself be. I actually came to New York to visit my best friend Will (who I live with now) and celebrate my 30th Birthday.

I had no idea that almost 2 years later I would be moving to New York. Will had been trying to get me to move to New York for a few years. I would nicely say to him "maybe" but really knowing in the back of my mind that I had no intentions of moving. (He knew that as well but he still tried to convince me). At that time I was still content with my life in Atlanta and was ready to see what 30 had to offer. I would visit New York a few more times after my 30th Birthday, falling more in love with the city more each time. And then after a major loss in my life, I soon realized that maybe New York wasn't a bad idea after all.

My Grandfather passed away last year May 24th, 2014. A day that I will never forget. He was an amazing man. He traveled the world, had a very successful career and made a name for himself. He was known by a rare nickname and was the life of the party. Shortly before his passing, I had told him about the possibility of me moving to NY. He was surprisingly very excited for me. He traveled to NY often throughout his life and had nothing but great things to say and stories to tell about his trips here. I was still unsure myself if I would actually go through with it but when he passed, I knew I had to do it. Not just for him, but for me. His passing changed my life in more ways than one. But mostly he had always instilled in me to never have regrets in life. He lived life so passionately and I wanted to do the same. So, fast forward to October 2014, I packed up an SUV full of clothes and boxes with my Mom and my best friend. After 16 hours traveled up the east coast, at 3AM October 10th, 2014, I officially became a New Yorker. 

Can't wait to share this journey with you. 

XO, Rae