37 THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN 37 YEARS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 🥂🍾 Although this will be my first post of the new decade, I’ve actually been working on this one for a few weeks now. I recently turned 37 (December 10th) and honestly I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about this new year of life. It’s one of those ages where you really start to feel your age; mentally, emotionally & physically. And although I’ve mostly enjoyed my 30s, I’m learning that there is so much that this decade brings. With each new year of my 30’s, I’ve learned more and more about myself, friendships, relationships and what I want for my future self.

I’ve shared some lessons learned in my 30s in previous blog posts. You can read them here and here.

Photography by Lauren Lucile Creative

1. Confidence comes in waves but it definitely grows the older you become.

2. Friendships will change due to marriage, babies, careers, distance and time.

3. Go to therapy. Whether you have things in your past you want to resolve or you just want to be a better version of yourself. Investing in your mental health is so important.

4. Travel as often as you can. Whether it be solo, with a significant other or with friends.

5. Talk to your parents more. They have a lot to teach you and advice you’ll need for later in life.

6. Stop getting caught up on your flaws. They are what make you, YOU.

7. Take more photos so you can have the memories to look back on.

8. Spend time alone. Learn to enjoy your own company above anyone else’s.

9. It’s okay to NOT be okay at times.

10. Forgive the people that hurt you or treated you unfair. Not for them, but for yourself.

11. Get your finances in order. Pay off any debts. Build your credit and create a budget for yourself.

12. Learn to say “NO” more. Especially to the things that don’t serve a purpose in your life.

13. Success isn’t defined by just one thing. Everyone can be successful in their own way.

14. Don’t wait for “someday”. If it’s on your heart and mind, do it NOW.

15. Life will throw some unexpected things your way. It will be difficult. But you will get through it.

16. Get in the habit of asking yourself if your daily routine is aligned with your goals.

17. Talk to your parents about their wishes for end of life care. It is NEVER too early to have this conversation with your loved ones. Although it’s difficult, It brings so much peace of mind!

18. And then make a plan and discuss your wishes with your friends & family. Having a living will is easy to have drawn up and can be updated as life events occur.

19. Celebrate the BIG and SMALL things in life.

20. Don’t be afraid to meet NEW people. Sometimes we make new friends in the most unexpected circumstances.

21. Don’t rush LOVE. Your time will come and it will be worth the wait.

22. Wear the swimsuit. Nobody is looking at your cellulite or worried about the extra lbs you’ve gained.

23. Stop comparing yourself to others. Live your truth.

24. Work on yourself for YOURSELF. Not because you think it will change someone else’s opinion of you.

25. Communicate. Even when it’s uncomfortable or awkward.

26. Friendships take work just like any relationship. Invest your time with those who are willing to invest in you as well.

27. Check on your strong friends. They may carry it well, but they often need your support the most.

28. Spend the money on getting your hair cut/colored, getting your nails done, waxing or tanning. If it makes YOU feel good, it isn’t money wasted.

29. Healing from your past is necessary.

30. Stop wasting time trying to “fit in”. Being yourself is so much more powerful.

31. Save some money for “in case of emergency” situations. You never know what unexpected things may come up. Or when you may need to leave that job you hate.

32. Find things that you’re passionate about outside of your career.

33. Make use of your nice things. Break out the China you were given, use the Champagne flutes you were gifted, drink the expensive bottle of wine you’ve been saving.

34. Save keepsakes: cards, menus/napkins from places you’ve been, concert tickets, etc… One day you’ll want to look back on those moments in time.

35. Be patient with yourself. You’re growing. You’re healing. You’re doing the best you can.

36. Live in the moment more.

37. Embrace your 30s. They are sure to be the most challenging yet rewarding years.

XO, RAE

HOW TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSER WHEN IT FEELS LIKE DISTANCE IS TAKING OVER

Photography by: Lauren Lucile Creative

If you’ve ever moved long distance away from friends, chances are you’ve experienced what it’s like to maintain those friendships. And more often than not, you may have even had some faded friendships due to the strain of the distance. When I moved to New York a little over 4 years ago, I was anxious to leave my friends behind for that exact reason.  And being that most of my friends were ones that I had met in my late twenties and early thirties, I was more determined than ever to hold on those friendships. I knew distance would play a factor, but I wanted to do whatever I could on my part to keep my closest girlfriends in my life. Because these wen’t just acquaintances, these were friendships in which we had all been through life’s highs and lows together. And when in you’re in your 30’s, good friends are hard to come by.

And like any relationship, I think if you can withstand the distance long term then you know those are your people. And luckily for me, distance has actually made my friendships stronger. Mostly due to the fact that we all make an effort to stay in touch. With that being said, it is a huge commitment for us to maintain friendships even though we are miles apart. It’s not easy and I definitely can feel like I’m missing out in their everyday lives sometimes. And because I know many of you may have in the past or currently experiencing this in your own friendships. I wanted to share some ways in which you can keep your friends closer even at a distance.

Image via Pinterest

Make a phone call/text

How many times do we say to friends;  “I’ve been thinking about you and just haven’t had a chance to call you”? Next time you have that thought, STOP and CALL that person. Because chances are if you don’t do it then, you’ll forget to later. If you’re not able to call, I personally love the voice message feature on iPhone that allows you to send a recorded voicemail via text message. It’s more personal than a text and easier to send when you don’t have a lot of time.  And if you’re not a phone person or maybe time in your day doesn’t allow for a phone call,  send a quick text just to say “I’m thinking of you, Let’s catch up soon!”. Or send a funny meme that you know your friend will get a laugh at. A simple message can help you and your friend be on each other’s radar, so to speak. This way it starts the conversation. And then you both can can be in touch to follow up on plans to have that catch up sesh you’ve been meaning to make time for.

Connect over FaceTime

Sometimes we just need that more personal connection with our friends especially if you don’t get to see them in person often. FaceTime or Video chat gives you both more of an opportunity to share real things going on in your lives.  And it also gives you a visual of what that looks like whether it be their home life or day to day life. You can even schedule a virtual wine night once a week/month to make it feel like you’re “hanging out” in person. Seeing each other over video helps you both to feel like you’re able to still have quality time together even miles apart.

Schedule a specific date and time to catch up

Discuss a specific date and/or time every week or month to talk over the phone. This will hold you both accountable and more likely to make good on the promise to catch up. Even if life gets busy and something comes up on that specific date, make an effort to reschedule to a new date & time right away.  We all have busy lives and realistically it can be hard to always make time for phone calls with friends. But I find that this helps to keep the momentum going by setting a specific goal.

Ask Questions/Be Present

This is so important, especially when you might not get to catch up as often as you used to. When in conversation, make sure to ask your friend detailed questions. Ask about their job, kids, significant others, passion projects and any other relevant things going on in their lives. Asking specific questions helps to get a feel of their every day life and the current events that they are experiencing. It’s all about making the most out of the time that you do have when catching up via phone, FaceTime or even text. The more thoughtful your questions are, it will help make you  both feel invested in each other’s lives. And it also leaves you with follow up questions for the next conversation.

Send a note

Sending cards to friends is a great way to show them that you’re thinking of them. And it doesn’t have to be for any particular reason other than just saying, HELLO.  Handwritten notes are one of those things that always make you feel special when received by a friend. But if you have limited time and want something that is easy to send with a note attached, I love using INK cards. An app that allows you to send custom greeting cards straight from your cell phone. Sometimes the simplest gesture is the most appreciated.

Plan a trip in person

This may be a little harder to do with busy schedules, but I think it’s important to try and make an effort to have real face to face time. Make a plan to visit each other at least once a year. Or if you live really far away from one another, try to pick somewhere you can meet in the middle. Even if it’s only for a weekend. This will give you both something to look forward to, not to mention that you both can plan out the trip and discuss things you want to do when you get there. There is nothing better than spending real quality time your friend who you haven’t seen in what feels like forever.

What have you found helpful when it comes to long distance friendships?! I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

XO, Rae

WHY YOU SHOULD EMBRACE BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINE'S DAY

Valentine's Day is all about LOVE, right?! Wrong. It's mostly about the pressure of buying the right gift for your significant other along with planning the perfect night and the stress of what to wear for said perfect night. But not this year. Because you're SINGLE. Before you start to drown your feelings in that bottle of wine. Here are some reasons why you should absolutely embrace your SINGLENESS this Valentine's Day. 

Image via MyDomaine.com

Do You

You can stay home and binge Netflix while eating Ben & Jerry's in bed. You can have an at home spa night. You can meet up with your girlfriends for brunch and consume bottomless mimosas. Or you can have a Girl's Night Out in celebration of Galentine's Day. The point is that you can do anything you want without the pressure of it being the perfectly planned out.

Indulge

Eat all the chocolate you want. Judgement FREE. So make sure to stock up on all those heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Or you could go all out like Miranda, in that one episode of 'Sex and The City' where she bakes a whole chocolate cake, grabs a fork and never looks back. 

Wine about it

If all else fails, there’s always WINE. Go ahead and break out that expensive bottle of wine you've been saving for a special occasion. After all, you are celebrating your singleness. . CHEERS! 

Grab your Girls

Because being single doesn't mean you're alone. You have amazing friends and an amazing life that a guy would only be lucky enough to be a part of. Call your girlfriends, let them know how much you love and appreciate them being in your life. Invite them to brunch or a day of shopping and celebrate your friendships.

Image via Pinterest

To all my SINGLE LADIES: Embrace your SINGLENESS. And treat yo' self to the Valentine's Day you deserve. 

How will you be celebrating this year?!

XO, Rae