FALL BUCKET LIST 2016

It's finally cool enough in New York City, where you need an extra blanket on your bed at night. I love how the city changes with each season. And FALL is no exception. As the leaves start to change in Central Park, we pack up our shorts and tanks, break out the sweaters and trade in our iced lattes for PSLs. There is so much in the city to look forward to in the Fall. Here are a few things I have on my bucket list to capture the most of the season.

1. Walk through Central Park to see the Fall foliage with a Pumpkin Spice Latte in hand. (Basic, I know)

2. Bake Pumpkin Bread. It's one of the few things I'm actually good at baking.

3. Take a trip to upstate New York with friends. We actually have a beautiful house from the 1800's booked for an upcoming weekend. Can't wait!

4. Visit a festival and sip apple cider. 

5. Carve pumpkins. You're never too old to celebrate Halloween, right?!

6. Find a new favorite Fall scented candle at Bath & Body Works.

7. Ice skate in Bryant Park at the Winter Village. 

8. Drink copious amounts of wine with my best friend. She is visiting NYC for the first time, next month! #girlsweekend

9. Take new headshots for the blog. Any suggestions for local NYC photographers??

10. Explore a new neighborhood in the city. 

What are you adding to your FALL Bucket List?  Comment below. 

XO, Rae

BLANK PAGE: A LIFE UPDATE

We're adults, when did that happen? And how do we make it stop? These words immediately resonated with me as I heard them out loud during an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was having a rough day and was in my feelings. So, I ordered Chinese food, dug deep into the blankets on my bed and binged watched a season of Grey's on Netflix. And at that very moment of hearing those words, I burst into tears. Life has recently reminded me that it owes you nothing and that change is inevitable. 

I know now more than EVER that life happens regardless if you're ready for it or not. This year has been full of change both personally and professionally. My family dynamic has changed with the divorce of my parents. Although probably best for both parties involved, it still comes with a sense of pain and loss. And one thing I was not prepared for, is how it has changed the relationship I have with my mother. She is someone I have always been extremely close with. But I'm learning that parents have their life to live just as we have our own. And even though I wish things could go back to the way they were, this is now our new normal.

I also, recently parted ways with my half-sister. This is something that has built up for years but still hurts nonetheless. I understand now that with loss comes growth. I have always been a "fixer" in my relationships with others. And this year has taught me that there are some things that can't be fixed. I've learned to accept things for what they are. And in the process, I am also learning to stop carrying the guilt. Being an adult comes with responsibility, but it also comes with the freedom of doing what is best for YOU.

My professional life has taken on a whole new meaning. As I once used to pride myself on a title I held in the corporate world, I'm now learning the meaning of being an entrepreneur. I never realized how much I depended on a job status until I stripped it away. But in the past year of reinventing myself, I realized that I didn't need to have a "title" or "status" in order to be happy. My only regret is that I wish I had realized this sooner. But life is funny that way, in that it gives you exactly what you need when you least expect it.

So, let this be a reminder that life comes with many unexpected changes. And even when life feels like too much, just know that you will get through it. Although, I never would have imagined all the change this year would bring, I am reminded that I have much to look forward to. And one being, embarking on year number three of living in New York City this October.

Everything in life is temporary. And you can always start new on a blank page.

XO, Rae

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

Lately, when talking to friends the same words seem to pop up in conversation, 'never say never'. I was reminded of these words again as I scrolled through Facebook this morning & looked back at an old status I wrote in 2010. 

I had no intentions on ever moving to New York City. I was perfectly content with my life in Atlanta. It was only tempting to move because my best friend had literally just moved from Atlanta to New York & I felt lonely. But I knew my life was in Atlanta and I had worked so hard to build that life. My career was just starting to come together & I was surrounded by the people I adored most. 

Fast forward almost 5 years later and life changed drastically. I started to be more open to the possibilities of leaving it all behind to pursue bigger things. Literally over a year's time I would contemplate the move to NYC. I was in a different head space than previously and I was ready to see what more was out there for me. So, I took a leap of faith and made the decision to move to NYC in the fall of 2014. The moment I actually committed to the idea, it seemed like everything fell into place. I didn't have any hesitations from that point on. Everyone was extremely supportive of my decision and not one person tried to convince me otherwise. So, I took all the encouragement and promised myself I would make the most of this new chapter. 

I didn't have a job lined up when I moved to New York. My plan was to take some time to get moved and adjusted to the city. I got anxious to get out there so 3 weeks after, I landed a position with one of the top medical practices. I was ecstatic to say the least. From my first interview, I knew this was the job for me. Immediately, I felt like I was taking NYC head on. But 6 months in, I couldn't do it anymore. I loved the job but the work environment was not ideal. It was not an easy decision for me but after a lot of consideration and countless nights crying over bad days at work, I made the decision to resign. The day I gave notice, I felt like I could breathe again. I didn't feel stressed or bad for what I had just done. I felt like it was what I had to do. I had never quit a job like that ever in my life. I've always held long term jobs ever since I was 15 years old. So, this was new territory for me. I didn't really have a plan B. And I was okay with that, for once. Which if you know me, I never not have things planned out. I'm a planner by default. But I knew I wasn't happy. I also remembered that I promised myself to live a different life here in New York by any means necessary. And I wasn't willing to compromise my happiness after leaving everything behind in Atlanta.

I wrote this Facebook status a year ago today (the day before my last day at my job):

A year later, I haven't looked back since. I took a chance on myself. And honestly I've never been happier. The past year has allowed me to get back to what's important in life. It has made me realize how unhappy I was all those years living at my job that I had always put above everything else. It has given me the opportunity to strip down to what I really want in life and what I never want to settle for. I've been blessed enough to be able to work from home, travel, write my blog and just enjoy living in this amazing city. 

My dream is to be an entrepreneur. And I'm hoping to make that happen sooner than later. I often let fear get in the way, but then I am reminded of how far I've come and all the things I've done that I never thought where even possibilities. So, I'm saying, never say never. Don't hold yourself back from things you want or deserve in your life. Everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe that. Be open to the possibilities of changing your mind. Trust the process and know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. 

XO, Rae

WHY YOU SHOULD EMBRACE BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINE'S DAY

Valentine's Day is all about LOVE, right?! Wrong. It's mostly about the pressure of buying the right gift for your significant other along with planning the perfect night and the stress of what to wear for said perfect night. But not this year. Because you're SINGLE. Before you start to drown your feelings in that bottle of wine. Here are some reasons why you should absolutely embrace your SINGLENESS this Valentine's Day. 

Image via MyDomaine.com

Do You

You can stay home and binge Netflix while eating Ben & Jerry's in bed. You can have an at home spa night. You can meet up with your girlfriends for brunch and consume bottomless mimosas. Or you can have a Girl's Night Out in celebration of Galentine's Day. The point is that you can do anything you want without the pressure of it being the perfectly planned out.

Indulge

Eat all the chocolate you want. Judgement FREE. So make sure to stock up on all those heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Or you could go all out like Miranda, in that one episode of 'Sex and The City' where she bakes a whole chocolate cake, grabs a fork and never looks back. 

Wine about it

If all else fails, there’s always WINE. Go ahead and break out that expensive bottle of wine you've been saving for a special occasion. After all, you are celebrating your singleness. . CHEERS! 

Grab your Girls

Because being single doesn't mean you're alone. You have amazing friends and an amazing life that a guy would only be lucky enough to be a part of. Call your girlfriends, let them know how much you love and appreciate them being in your life. Invite them to brunch or a day of shopping and celebrate your friendships.

Image via Pinterest

To all my SINGLE LADIES: Embrace your SINGLENESS. And treat yo' self to the Valentine's Day you deserve. 

How will you be celebrating this year?!

XO, Rae

HOW TO EMBRACE A BIG LIFE CHANGE

When you're about to embark on a big life change, it's important to consider a few things.

BE OPEN TO THE JOURNEY

I’m very Type A personality. I like to plan things out and know what to expect ahead of time. However, when you’re facing a big life change, your plan may or may not go as perfectly as you hoped for. And that's OKAY. Sometimes the best moments in life are the unexpected ones or the ones that derail us from our original plans. You have to be open to the ups and downs that come as part of the growth. And trust that in the end, it will all work out how it's supposed to.

NOT EVERYONE WILL SUPPORT YOUR DECISION

When I decided to move to New York, I got lucky. All of my friends and family could not have been more supportive. But that isn't always the case for some when making big life changes. It's easier for some people to tear you down than it is to build you up. Not everyone will see your vision and encourage you to chase your dreams. Be prepared to move forward with or without some of your friends and family's support. Don't let others influence you or make you feel less than excited about your decision. After all, it is YOUR life. 

CHANGE IS SCARY, BUT SO IS REGRET

Easier said than done, I know. Change is not something I’m typically comfortable with. I dealt with a lot of change in my childhood. And as a result, it became harder for me to accept change as an adult. The key is embracing it, rather than hiding from it. And if all else fails, at least you can say you took the leap of faith and tried. In life, you have to take risks in order to see the reward. If you can one day look back on your life and say that you have no regrets, imagine how fulfilling that will be. Nothing worth having comes easy. 

DO IT FOR YOURSELF

We often make decisions based on a mix of emotions. Sometimes a combination of our own wants and needs as well as other's. It isn't always easy to make yourself a priority. However, when making a big change in your life, you have to do it for you above anything else. It's never selfish to want to follow your dreams or to take steps to having a more fulfilled life. Your happiness should be the ultimate goal. 

So no matter what big life change you may be considering or beginning to embark upon. Remember to be open to the possibilities, take the good with the bad, have no regrets and do what makes YOU happy. 

XO, Rae 

SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR

Finally, I had some time this evening to sit down and blog. Life has been non-stop with the holidays, traveling and working from home. But I could not let the year come to an end without reflecting back and sharing one last blog entry with you all before we embark on 2016!

This year by far has been one to remember. So many changes & so many things that all fell into perfect place.

I settled into a new city and still can't believe that I get to call New York home. I never imagined being so happy here and feeling so comfortable in such a short amount of time. It still feels exhilarating every day that I get to spend here.

I quit a job that I once dreamed of having. It in turn made me realize that you always have a choice to walk away from something if you are not happy. And it also made me take a chance on myself. I had no plan B and although it terrified me, I knew that my happiness was worth the risk. Even through other's doubts and questions of my next move, I realized that sometimes in life you are allowed to not have a plan. You do not owe anything to anyone. But you do owe yourself, everything!

I closed the door to my past for the last time. The classic story of too little to late. He would say "I'm sorry" and ask for me to come back and all I could do was say "I can't". Even though I know I will never love anyone as much as I loved him. I know I could never allow myself to go back. I used to not be that strong and would have done anything to let him back in my life but this time was different because well, I was different. 

I removed toxic people from my life, met new friends and even reconnected with old ones. I definitely believe everyone holds a purpose in your life no matter how long or short lived. However, life is so much better when you have the right people to share it with. And I am lucky to have such amazing family & friends in my life. I would not be the person I am without them. 

Most of all I learned to trust the journey. And by far the best lesson of 2015! You may not be exactly where you think you should be but trust me you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It's the moments that we often forget to enjoy because we are so focused on what comes next. So, as we welcome 2016 and a NEW YEAR ahead, my hope is for you to enjoy the moments along the way. The rest will fall into place. 

CHEERS to 2016! And thank you for following my journey!

XO,  Rae

HOW I BECAME COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN

I have always had body issues ever since I can remember. My weight has always fluctuated partially to bad habits, not enough exercise and skipping meals. I've never wanted to be super skinny, maybe just a healthier version of myself. It wasn't until I turned 27, that I really started to embrace my body. And for once in my life, I began to feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't remember what the pivotal moment was. I just remember I stopped being so hard on myself about trying to fit into a certain size jeans or achieve a certain weight. For a long time I struggled with my self confidence and only saw myself as how I compared to other women. 

Even at the age of 32, I still fluctuate with my weight and I will probably always be nagging over those 20lbs. But I don't let myself get down about it anymore. I just work a little harder and eat smarter if I don't like what I see in the mirror. I will never be skinny by any means. Personally, I just don't want to be that way. I like having curves. I ultimately just want to be healthy. I don't want to be defined by a number on a scale. 

I also had to stop focusing on the size of clothing. Sizing can be so misleading. And it's a known fact that not all brands are created equal when it comes to clothing sizes. I now just buy clothes that fit my body type and focus more on how I feel when wearing the clothing. 

Something else that has helped me to have a more positive outlook on my curvy body, is seeing how it is more accepted now days. It's refreshing to see more and more women embracing their real bodies. I mean for a plus size model like Ashley Graham to walk in New York Fashion Week, that is a GAME CHANGER. And it helps to shed light on the topic of what is considered to be a "normal body" in today's society. It also shows that women can be beautiful at any size.   

You are NOT your weight. You are beautiful no matter what size you are.  And only once you truly begin to realize that will you learn to love yourself even more. Don't let society, family, friends or even your own insecurities dictate how you perceive yourself. Be happy. Be healthy. And love your body, flaws and all!

XO, Rae

20 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

You visit my blog, support me & share this journey with me here. So, I thought you may want to know a bit more about me on a personal level. Here are 20 Random Facts about myself.

1. Rae is actually my middle name. It wasn't until my twenties that I really started to embrace it.

2. I'm happiest when CREATING or PLANNING something. Especially party planning. 

3. I think handwritten 'Thank You' notes never go out of style. 

4. I'll admit, I'm a big Real Housewives fan. My favorite housewife is Bethenny Frankel. #RHONY

5. I am way more productive if I write out my to-do list. 

6. I'm a WINE kinda gal. Red, White, Rosé, Sparkling….I love it all.

7. I can recite all the words to 'JUICY' by The Notorious B.I.G.

8. Music is my love language. 

9. As a kid, my report cards always said “talkative in class”. Guess some things never change.

10. FALL is my favorite season. Pumpkin spice everything.

11. I’m an ONLY child. However, I also have a 1/2 brother and 1/2 sister (same Dad, different Mom’s) 

12. I've always wanted to get a tattoo, but I'm too scared to actually do it. 

13. I love accessories. Big gold hoops are my go-to. 

14. I own a ridiculous amount of lip glosses and lipsticks. I carry at least three with me at all times. Anyone else have this problem?!

15. My favorite movie of all time is 'Dirty Dancing'.

16. The word Y'all will always be in my vocabulary. Blame it on my Southern roots.

17. I'm naturally a Red head. (and yes, a hot temper comes with it)

18. Never thought I would actually move to NEW YORK. 

19. Turning 30 was a game changer for me.

20. Always on the hunt for the best Iced Coffee. Coffee is my VICE.

Tell me something about yourself!  Comment below. 

XO, dana Rae

10 THINGS YOU LEARN IN YOUR 30s

Since turning the BIG 3-0, I've learned to fully embrace my thirties. And so far, they have not disappointed. They say with age comes wisdom. So with the help of some friends, I have compiled a list of '10 Things You Learn In Your 30's.'

1. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE

By 30 you start to really get to know who you are as a person and what you want out of life. You become an adult so to speak. Your getting your career on point, your paying bills like a boss and dating like a grown woman. Don't be fearful of who you may become. Be open to the possibilities.

2. YOUR MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT -Kristi E.

It's bound to happen. You will begin to hear yourself channeling your mother and saying to yourself "She was right!"  I even find that I often apologize to my Mom for thinking that she has no idea what I am going through....what I now realize is that she has already been there and done it. Hence why Mom's give the best advice.

3. YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING -Billy B.

Remember when you got invited to go out with your friends and you were so afraid of missing out you would never say 'NO'. Well those days are over. You just worked a 40+ hour week, your tired, you have nothing to wear and all you really want to do is go home and watch 'The Real Housewives'. Plus you can live vicariously via Facebook and save yourself the hangover. You will thank yourself in the morning.

4. FAMILY IS NOT ALWAYS BLOOD RELATED -Marisa L.

I agree 100%. Family does not have to be true to definition. Being family means more than just sharing a last name or a bloodline of relatives. It's about being there for someone and making an effort to be a part of their life. You don't get to pick your family but you do get to pick your friends. If your lucky, some of those friends will become family. 

5. IT'S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES -Billy B.

Although you are well into adulthood now. You are still allowed to make mistakes. You don't have to have it all figured out in a perfect Pinterest board. Be open to the idea that things will fall apart at times. But more often than not you will find yourself able to pick the pieces quicker. 

6. SOMETIMES YOU WILL HAVE TO PARENT YOUR PARENTS -Jackie A.

At some point you will find yourself in a moment of being the parent to your parent(s). Whether it's in giving advice or in caring for them as they get older. Both are more of a reality at this age. You will begin to start to worry about them more often, be ultra protective and have to deal with the fact that they are getting older and will need you more than ever. 

7. A FEW GOOD FRIENDS ARE ALL YOU REALLY NEED

At this age, it really is about quality NOT quantity. Life is busy and when you do have down time, you want to invest in those who make it worth while. This isn't high school anymore and you don't need to be in a clique. You need real girlfriends that you can laugh with, confide in and drink bottles of wine with no judgment. 

8. DATE YOURSELF

Ladies, LISTEN UP! You can't expect for someone to love you if you don't love yourself. And sometimes the best way to do that is to date yourself. Meaning put yourself on "a break" and get to know who you are deep down. The only way you are going to know what you want out of a relationship is to know what you have to have offer as well. Try it. I promise you will be a better girlfriend and one day wife for it!

9. SEX IS BETTER IN YOUR THIRTIES- Jennifer S.

Okay, so now that you have dated your self and have sworn off men for awhile. Nothing will get you back in the saddle more than having some good sex. It's true, sex is better in your thirties. Maybe its because of all the bad sex you had in your twenties or because you’re more experienced now? Whatever it is, be thankful! 

10. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER AT 30

Contrary to what you may assume, turning thirty is not as awful as we make it out to be. Sure, it poses the question "What am I doing with my life?" But it doesn't have to be defining of who you are. Your not a failure because you don't have your dream job, not married yet or have kids. Life doesn't give you bonus points for having it all figured out by a certain age. Your thirties are the years that you will change and grow the most. It IS possible that your thirties will be some of the best years of your life.

XO, Rae

THE FRIENDS WE KEEP

Once you're in your thirties you realize that a few true friends are better than the twenty you used to have. I think it's important that women have a close group of girlfriends. I feel blessed to say that I have an amazing group of friends. 

Most of my girlfriends, I met when I was in my twenties. Your twenties are usually your unstable years. When you're partying, making up, breaking up and trying to figure out your life. If your friends can see you at this stage of your life and still be around after, they will typically become lifelong friends. 

All of my girlfriends have this in common: they are loyal, trustworthy and have a genuine interest in my life. I feel these qualities are hard to come by but are crucial when it comes to friendships. Often we surround ourselves with friends who are too caught up in their own life to take notice of ours. Friendship should be equal. It takes work just like any relationship. But in the end you want to feel they are just as invested in your life as you are in theirs.

I think it's also important to have a well rounded group of girlfriends. Different friendships serve different purposes in your life. And if all of your friends were alike, that would be pretty boring right?

One of my girlfriends, Brooke, is a few years younger than me. We are complete opposites in most aspects. She is bold, has never met a stranger and loves the outdoors. I'm more shy and quiet at first and not very outdoorsy unless it involves drinking on a patio. But we bonded over our passion for life and hard work. We both have recently moved to new states in efforts to chase our dreams. It's amazing to share those experiences with a friend who understands it first hand. 

Jenn is one of my girlfriends that I have known the longest. We met while working at a pediatric medical office and instantly became friends. She is soft spoken, smart, a great mother and can fix almost anything. Seriously, she can put most men to shame. She taught me a lot when I first started at the pediatric office and we both connected over our passion for working in the medical field and helping people. Through the years, we have shared countless stories of failed attempts of meeting Mr. Right, spent many nights out at the bars and have leaned on each other through difficult times. Jenn will forever be my wing woman at the bar and in life. We have had some of the best times and share stories only we can tell. 

Courtney, is my RIDE or DIE friend. Every girl needs one. That friend that never judges you or your mistakes. She is kind, quick witted, outspoken and doesn't let many people into her life easily. I consider myself lucky to be called her friend. She helped me to work through my past relationship with my ex and has always been a great listening ear. She is always honest when giving advice and that is what I love most about her. We have seen each other go through some of the most difficult times in our lives. And we have also celebrated many of life's happy moments like her newly born daughter. She is so worthy of becoming a Mother. She reminds me that even though life is full of unknowns, you still have to ride it out. 

My best friend, Lindsey, I saved for last. She is the most selfless person I have ever met. She is thoughtful, funny, kindhearted and will take you by surprise with her kick ass karaoke skills to 80's & 90's music. She will sing Salt -N- Pepa's "PUSH IT" like nobody's business. We could do nothing but sit in her living room and drink wine all night and be perfectly content. She and I like to do simple things: like go to festivals, eat cheap Mexican food, drink margaritas and craft things. Although she is now a busy Mom, she always makes time for our friendship. We understand each other and never have to apologize for what we say or think. She is honestly more like a sister to me. Friends who become family are the best types of friends. I can see us both sitting on a porch well into our 50's sipping wine and eating mint milanos.

I can't imagine my life without each of them. They are truly the best friends a girl could ever ask for. 

XO, Rae