HOW TO EMBRACE A BIG LIFE CHANGE

When you're about to embark on a big life change, it's important to consider a few things.

BE OPEN TO THE JOURNEY

I’m very Type A personality. I like to plan things out and know what to expect ahead of time. However, when you’re facing a big life change, your plan may or may not go as perfectly as you hoped for. And that's OKAY. Sometimes the best moments in life are the unexpected ones or the ones that derail us from our original plans. You have to be open to the ups and downs that come as part of the growth. And trust that in the end, it will all work out how it's supposed to.

NOT EVERYONE WILL SUPPORT YOUR DECISION

When I decided to move to New York, I got lucky. All of my friends and family could not have been more supportive. But that isn't always the case for some when making big life changes. It's easier for some people to tear you down than it is to build you up. Not everyone will see your vision and encourage you to chase your dreams. Be prepared to move forward with or without some of your friends and family's support. Don't let others influence you or make you feel less than excited about your decision. After all, it is YOUR life. 

CHANGE IS SCARY, BUT SO IS REGRET

Easier said than done, I know. Change is not something I’m typically comfortable with. I dealt with a lot of change in my childhood. And as a result, it became harder for me to accept change as an adult. The key is embracing it, rather than hiding from it. And if all else fails, at least you can say you took the leap of faith and tried. In life, you have to take risks in order to see the reward. If you can one day look back on your life and say that you have no regrets, imagine how fulfilling that will be. Nothing worth having comes easy. 

DO IT FOR YOURSELF

We often make decisions based on a mix of emotions. Sometimes a combination of our own wants and needs as well as other's. It isn't always easy to make yourself a priority. However, when making a big change in your life, you have to do it for you above anything else. It's never selfish to want to follow your dreams or to take steps to having a more fulfilled life. Your happiness should be the ultimate goal. 

So no matter what big life change you may be considering or beginning to embark upon. Remember to be open to the possibilities, take the good with the bad, have no regrets and do what makes YOU happy. 

XO, Rae 

SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR

Finally, I had some time this evening to sit down and blog. Life has been non-stop with the holidays, traveling and working from home. But I could not let the year come to an end without reflecting back and sharing one last blog entry with you all before we embark on 2016!

This year by far has been one to remember. So many changes & so many things that all fell into perfect place.

I settled into a new city and still can't believe that I get to call New York home. I never imagined being so happy here and feeling so comfortable in such a short amount of time. It still feels exhilarating every day that I get to spend here.

I quit a job that I once dreamed of having. It in turn made me realize that you always have a choice to walk away from something if you are not happy. And it also made me take a chance on myself. I had no plan B and although it terrified me, I knew that my happiness was worth the risk. Even through other's doubts and questions of my next move, I realized that sometimes in life you are allowed to not have a plan. You do not owe anything to anyone. But you do owe yourself, everything!

I closed the door to my past for the last time. The classic story of too little to late. He would say "I'm sorry" and ask for me to come back and all I could do was say "I can't". Even though I know I will never love anyone as much as I loved him. I know I could never allow myself to go back. I used to not be that strong and would have done anything to let him back in my life but this time was different because well, I was different. 

I removed toxic people from my life, met new friends and even reconnected with old ones. I definitely believe everyone holds a purpose in your life no matter how long or short lived. However, life is so much better when you have the right people to share it with. And I am lucky to have such amazing family & friends in my life. I would not be the person I am without them. 

Most of all I learned to trust the journey. And by far the best lesson of 2015! You may not be exactly where you think you should be but trust me you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It's the moments that we often forget to enjoy because we are so focused on what comes next. So, as we welcome 2016 and a NEW YEAR ahead, my hope is for you to enjoy the moments along the way. The rest will fall into place. 

CHEERS to 2016! And thank you for following my journey!

XO,  Rae

HOW I BECAME COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN

I have always had body issues ever since I can remember. My weight has always fluctuated partially to bad habits, not enough exercise and skipping meals. I've never wanted to be super skinny, maybe just a healthier version of myself. It wasn't until I turned 27, that I really started to embrace my body. And for once in my life, I began to feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't remember what the pivotal moment was. I just remember I stopped being so hard on myself about trying to fit into a certain size jeans or achieve a certain weight. For a long time I struggled with my self confidence and only saw myself as how I compared to other women. 

Even at the age of 32, I still fluctuate with my weight and I will probably always be nagging over those 20lbs. But I don't let myself get down about it anymore. I just work a little harder and eat smarter if I don't like what I see in the mirror. I will never be skinny by any means. Personally, I just don't want to be that way. I like having curves. I ultimately just want to be healthy. I don't want to be defined by a number on a scale. 

I also had to stop focusing on the size of clothing. Sizing can be so misleading. And it's a known fact that not all brands are created equal when it comes to clothing sizes. I now just buy clothes that fit my body type and focus more on how I feel when wearing the clothing. 

Something else that has helped me to have a more positive outlook on my curvy body, is seeing how it is more accepted now days. It's refreshing to see more and more women embracing their real bodies. I mean for a plus size model like Ashley Graham to walk in New York Fashion Week, that is a GAME CHANGER. And it helps to shed light on the topic of what is considered to be a "normal body" in today's society. It also shows that women can be beautiful at any size.   

You are NOT your weight. You are beautiful no matter what size you are.  And only once you truly begin to realize that will you learn to love yourself even more. Don't let society, family, friends or even your own insecurities dictate how you perceive yourself. Be happy. Be healthy. And love your body, flaws and all!

XO, Rae

20 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

You visit my blog, support me & share this journey with me here. So, I thought you may want to know a bit more about me on a personal level. Here are 20 Random Facts about myself.

1. Rae is actually my middle name. It wasn't until my twenties that I really started to embrace it.

2. I'm happiest when CREATING or PLANNING something. Especially party planning. 

3. I think handwritten 'Thank You' notes never go out of style. 

4. I'll admit, I'm a big Real Housewives fan. My favorite housewife is Bethenny Frankel. #RHONY

5. I am way more productive if I write out my to-do list. 

6. I'm a WINE kinda gal. Red, White, Rosé, Sparkling….I love it all.

7. I can recite all the words to 'JUICY' by The Notorious B.I.G.

8. Music is my love language. 

9. As a kid, my report cards always said “talkative in class”. Guess some things never change.

10. FALL is my favorite season. Pumpkin spice everything.

11. I’m an ONLY child. However, I also have a 1/2 brother and 1/2 sister (same Dad, different Mom’s) 

12. I've always wanted to get a tattoo, but I'm too scared to actually do it. 

13. I love accessories. Big gold hoops are my go-to. 

14. I own a ridiculous amount of lip glosses and lipsticks. I carry at least three with me at all times. Anyone else have this problem?!

15. My favorite movie of all time is 'Dirty Dancing'.

16. The word Y'all will always be in my vocabulary. Blame it on my Southern roots.

17. I'm naturally a Red head. (and yes, a hot temper comes with it)

18. Never thought I would actually move to NEW YORK. 

19. Turning 30 was a game changer for me.

20. Always on the hunt for the best Iced Coffee. Coffee is my VICE.

Tell me something about yourself!  Comment below. 

XO, dana Rae

10 THINGS YOU LEARN IN YOUR 30s

Since turning the BIG 3-0, I've learned to fully embrace my thirties. And so far, they have not disappointed. They say with age comes wisdom. So with the help of some friends, I have compiled a list of '10 Things You Learn In Your 30's.'

1. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE

By 30 you start to really get to know who you are as a person and what you want out of life. You become an adult so to speak. Your getting your career on point, your paying bills like a boss and dating like a grown woman. Don't be fearful of who you may become. Be open to the possibilities.

2. YOUR MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT -Kristi E.

It's bound to happen. You will begin to hear yourself channeling your mother and saying to yourself "She was right!"  I even find that I often apologize to my Mom for thinking that she has no idea what I am going through....what I now realize is that she has already been there and done it. Hence why Mom's give the best advice.

3. YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING -Billy B.

Remember when you got invited to go out with your friends and you were so afraid of missing out you would never say 'NO'. Well those days are over. You just worked a 40+ hour week, your tired, you have nothing to wear and all you really want to do is go home and watch 'The Real Housewives'. Plus you can live vicariously via Facebook and save yourself the hangover. You will thank yourself in the morning.

4. FAMILY IS NOT ALWAYS BLOOD RELATED -Marisa L.

I agree 100%. Family does not have to be true to definition. Being family means more than just sharing a last name or a bloodline of relatives. It's about being there for someone and making an effort to be a part of their life. You don't get to pick your family but you do get to pick your friends. If your lucky, some of those friends will become family. 

5. IT'S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES -Billy B.

Although you are well into adulthood now. You are still allowed to make mistakes. You don't have to have it all figured out in a perfect Pinterest board. Be open to the idea that things will fall apart at times. But more often than not you will find yourself able to pick the pieces quicker. 

6. SOMETIMES YOU WILL HAVE TO PARENT YOUR PARENTS -Jackie A.

At some point you will find yourself in a moment of being the parent to your parent(s). Whether it's in giving advice or in caring for them as they get older. Both are more of a reality at this age. You will begin to start to worry about them more often, be ultra protective and have to deal with the fact that they are getting older and will need you more than ever. 

7. A FEW GOOD FRIENDS ARE ALL YOU REALLY NEED

At this age, it really is about quality NOT quantity. Life is busy and when you do have down time, you want to invest in those who make it worth while. This isn't high school anymore and you don't need to be in a clique. You need real girlfriends that you can laugh with, confide in and drink bottles of wine with no judgment. 

8. DATE YOURSELF

Ladies, LISTEN UP! You can't expect for someone to love you if you don't love yourself. And sometimes the best way to do that is to date yourself. Meaning put yourself on "a break" and get to know who you are deep down. The only way you are going to know what you want out of a relationship is to know what you have to have offer as well. Try it. I promise you will be a better girlfriend and one day wife for it!

9. SEX IS BETTER IN YOUR THIRTIES- Jennifer S.

Okay, so now that you have dated your self and have sworn off men for awhile. Nothing will get you back in the saddle more than having some good sex. It's true, sex is better in your thirties. Maybe its because of all the bad sex you had in your twenties or because you’re more experienced now? Whatever it is, be thankful! 

10. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER AT 30

Contrary to what you may assume, turning thirty is not as awful as we make it out to be. Sure, it poses the question "What am I doing with my life?" But it doesn't have to be defining of who you are. Your not a failure because you don't have your dream job, not married yet or have kids. Life doesn't give you bonus points for having it all figured out by a certain age. Your thirties are the years that you will change and grow the most. It IS possible that your thirties will be some of the best years of your life.

XO, Rae

THE FRIENDS WE KEEP

Once you're in your thirties you realize that a few true friends are better than the twenty you used to have. I think it's important that women have a close group of girlfriends. I feel blessed to say that I have an amazing group of friends. 

Most of my girlfriends, I met when I was in my twenties. Your twenties are usually your unstable years. When you're partying, making up, breaking up and trying to figure out your life. If your friends can see you at this stage of your life and still be around after, they will typically become lifelong friends. 

All of my girlfriends have this in common: they are loyal, trustworthy and have a genuine interest in my life. I feel these qualities are hard to come by but are crucial when it comes to friendships. Often we surround ourselves with friends who are too caught up in their own life to take notice of ours. Friendship should be equal. It takes work just like any relationship. But in the end you want to feel they are just as invested in your life as you are in theirs.

I think it's also important to have a well rounded group of girlfriends. Different friendships serve different purposes in your life. And if all of your friends were alike, that would be pretty boring right?

One of my girlfriends, Brooke, is a few years younger than me. We are complete opposites in most aspects. She is bold, has never met a stranger and loves the outdoors. I'm more shy and quiet at first and not very outdoorsy unless it involves drinking on a patio. But we bonded over our passion for life and hard work. We both have recently moved to new states in efforts to chase our dreams. It's amazing to share those experiences with a friend who understands it first hand. 

Jenn is one of my girlfriends that I have known the longest. We met while working at a pediatric medical office and instantly became friends. She is soft spoken, smart, a great mother and can fix almost anything. Seriously, she can put most men to shame. She taught me a lot when I first started at the pediatric office and we both connected over our passion for working in the medical field and helping people. Through the years, we have shared countless stories of failed attempts of meeting Mr. Right, spent many nights out at the bars and have leaned on each other through difficult times. Jenn will forever be my wing woman at the bar and in life. We have had some of the best times and share stories only we can tell. 

Courtney, is my RIDE or DIE friend. Every girl needs one. That friend that never judges you or your mistakes. She is kind, quick witted, outspoken and doesn't let many people into her life easily. I consider myself lucky to be called her friend. She helped me to work through my past relationship with my ex and has always been a great listening ear. She is always honest when giving advice and that is what I love most about her. We have seen each other go through some of the most difficult times in our lives. And we have also celebrated many of life's happy moments like her newly born daughter. She is so worthy of becoming a Mother. She reminds me that even though life is full of unknowns, you still have to ride it out. 

My best friend, Lindsey, I saved for last. She is the most selfless person I have ever met. She is thoughtful, funny, kindhearted and will take you by surprise with her kick ass karaoke skills to 80's & 90's music. She will sing Salt -N- Pepa's "PUSH IT" like nobody's business. We could do nothing but sit in her living room and drink wine all night and be perfectly content. She and I like to do simple things: like go to festivals, eat cheap Mexican food, drink margaritas and craft things. Although she is now a busy Mom, she always makes time for our friendship. We understand each other and never have to apologize for what we say or think. She is honestly more like a sister to me. Friends who become family are the best types of friends. I can see us both sitting on a porch well into our 50's sipping wine and eating mint milanos.

I can't imagine my life without each of them. They are truly the best friends a girl could ever ask for. 

XO, Rae

HOW MOVING TO A NEW CITY INSPIRED PERSONAL GROWTH

Living in New York has made me realize a few things about myself. I am way more comfortable now outside of my comfort zone than I have ever been before. New York exposes you to so much just in every day life. You are constantly surrounded by people. It's true, your personal space is pretty nonexistent most of the time. From crowded streets, subway stations and even grocery stores. But the good thing is that you have a lot more chances of meeting some amazing people. Everyday is like a new experience filled with new opportunities.

I have also learned to embrace change head on. Change used to be something that made me feel anxious and I often avoided it. I've had a lot of change in my childhood and I think that essentially made me fearful of change in my adult life.  

I have settled into the city and adapted to my new life pretty well in the past 8 months. Moving in general can be overwhelming but moving to New York adds a whole new level. Smaller space, roommates, no car, public transportation, longer work hours....the list goes on. All of which seem somewhat normal to me now. I LOVE living here in the city and for once I welcome the change that comes with it.

Fear of failure is also something I'm learning to let go of. I no longer want to say "what if." I want to live the life envision for myself and put my fears aside. It can be scary to chase dreams. But I think having regrets is scarier.  I would rather say that I tried and failed than have never tried at all. I'm learning that the journey is more important than the end result. I created this blog to document my journey here in New York. But also, in hopes that women can relate to the honesty of embracing your thirties and reinventing yourself. In addition, I am writing a book based on my life experiences, relationships, friendships and lessons learned. My goal is to one day publish the book. 

I guess you can say New York has changed me. Or maybe it's that I've allowed myself to be more open to this experience. Either way, I'm so grateful for the growth.

XO, Rae

CHASING DREAMS

Let's back up to about 8 months ago...

When I moved from ATLANTA to NEW YORK. I had just resigned from my job of 7 1/2 years.  I worked in the medical field as a manager for a large private practice. This was my career for the past 10+ years and I loved what I did. Most of all, I loved making a difference and being there for my patients and staff. I've always thought being a manager can have its challenges but it also has it's rewards. There are days you question everything and days you feel like you've conquered it all. 

I took a chance moving to New York without a job. I wanted to move first, get adjusted to the City and then seek out a job. I saved money prior to moving to allow myself this time. After three weeks of living here, I was getting restless staying at home and was eager to get back to work. But of course I had fears. What if I couldn't land a job in New York? What if I wasn't good enough for the same type position?  What if? 

These doubts were constantly on my mind but I knew I had to put myself out there in order to see what I was up against. Surprisingly, once I started putting my resume out there, I received some very encouraging feedback. 

Within a two week period, I was hired and started my new job right before Thanksgiving. The company that hired me was actually similar to the one I had worked for in Atlanta, but the position was a huge move up on the career ladder. And I was ecstatic to have this incredible opportunity. I was so unsure of how I would land on my feet here and this was beyond anything I expected. 

I've been with the company now for a little over 6 months. I feel like I've given it my best. But I recently made the difficult decision to resign. Although I love the company, I've come to find that it's just not the right fit for me. For those who know me, know that this decision does not come easy. I have NEVER quit a job. I pride myself on my work. Honestly, for the past 10+ years, work has consumed my life. 

But what I have come to realize, is happiness out weighs EVERYTHING else in life. As I finish up my last week of work, I am unsure of my next move for the first time in my life. And I'm strangely calm about the situation. I feel that I have learned a lot about myself these past few months since moving to New York. I'm not afraid of change anymore. I've already been pushed outside my comfort level and I hope that this will only push me farther. 

I have dreams of finishing a book I'm writing, growing my blog and one day becoming an entrepreneur. As they say in life, sometimes you have to close one door before another one can open. I'm hoping this is true. I feel inspired again for the first time in a long time. And I want to create the life I envision for myself.

No one ever said chasing dreams would be easy but they did promise it would be worth it! 

XO, Rae

THE BEST ADVICE I RECEIVED BEFORE MOVING TO NYC

Before I moved to New York, I read countless websites, blogs, and Buzzfeed articles. I did a lot of research in the months leading up to my move. Mostly articles on "What to expect when moving to New York", "Things to know before moving to New York" and "Things you need when living in New York." You get the idea.

I was determined to prepare myself the best way possible. I wanted to come here and succeed but also be realistic. I knew New York was not going to be an easy move so I wanted to read up on everything that  I could find before the big day.

Now that I live here, I feel like I know a lot more of what the reality IS. I did find that I learned some useful tips in my online research, however the advice I received from my best friend, Will, was probably the most honest and helpful to me. He told me that I could plan all I wanted, but that it really comes down to this, "YOU HAVE TO WANT TO BE HERE". Those 7 words have stuck with me EVER SINCE. And it's the truest of anything I read or was told about living in New York. Here's the thing, there are tons of people who move to New York every day. And there are tons of reasons why they move to New York. But if you truly want to be here, you've already separated yourself from those who just move here on hopes and dreams. New York is tough. So, the key is asking yourself, "Why do I want to be here?"

What's the best advice you've received before making a big move?  

XO, Rae

WELCOME TO 'REINVENTING RAE NYC'

Hi, My name is Dana Rae, I'm 32 years old and I recently moved to New York City after all signs pointed me here. You can read more on how I got here and why I decided to make the big move, very SOON. 

Blogging is NEW for me, but what I hope to create is a LIFESTYLE BLOG full of real life stories and experiences. Sharing everything from friendships, life in your thirties, travel, beauty and of course all things New York City. 

I hope you will follow along on this new journey of mine. Oh, and I should mention that we will drink lots of WINE along the way. So, grab a glass (or bottle) and let's get started! I'm so happy you're here. 

XO, Rae