WHY IT'S OKAY TO LOSE YOURSELF AT TIMES

This blog post has been a long time coming. But even with that said, it's still difficult to write even as I am typing these words. Let me first say, that I am so thankful to have this platform to be able to be raw and open with y'all. And I've always said that no matter what, I will keep things real on here even when it's not pretty. After all, my goal of this blog is to write about REAL life and how we often find that we are 'REINVENTING' ourselves. 

This year has not been my best. I had high hopes for what would be to come and what I would accomplish. If your new here, let me back up a little to the Summer of 2015. I had just left my comfy corporate job here in the city after deciding that I wanted to explore other options. At the time, I didn't know what those other options were. For the first time in my life, I left a job with no plan as to where I would be next. The month before I left, I started my blog Reinventing Rae NYC. Initially the blog was a way to connect with friends and family since I had just moved to New York six months prior. I knew nothing about blogging at the time, but I had a passion for writing. I had no clear vision of where the blog would eventually go, I just knew I wanted to write about life here in the city and real things happening in my day to day life.

In late 2015, I started to play around with the idea of starting my own business. Although I wasn't sure what exactly it would entail, I was excited for the possibilities. Fast forward over the next year, after talking to a friend, ideas started to come together for a product based business. Products that would include drinkware (coffee mugs, wine glasses, tumblers, etc., with a plan of eventually adding party accessories and stationary. I have a passion for putting together gifts for friends and loved ones as well as planning any type of event or social gathering. This was my brain telling me to put all of my passions to good use and make it profitable. In August of 2016, I started to put plans together and collaborate with a friend who had the talent I needed to make my ideas a reality.

But early on in 2016, my personal life was falling apart. (Well, at least that's how it felt anyways) I was struggling with myself in this new found free time on my hands and the lack of structure in my everyday life. Although it would be my busiest year yet, having friends and family visit me in the city almost every month. Not even kidding. This kept me distracted in a lot of ways although I welcomed it most of the time. Which also allowed me to be less accountable for myself, claiming that I was "too busy" to do anything else. And on top of everything, my parents decided to divorce after 26 years of marriage. And even though it wasn't a complete shock, the aftermath hit me hard. I am not one to adapt to change very well, especially when it involves those closest to me. And this would prove to bring a lot of change that I was in no way prepared for.

Over the course of the year, I quickly lost focus of my business planning and started to loose sight of what my goals actually were. I was struggling to be happy and stay in a positive place when I felt like so many things were falling apart. This continued into 2017, even though I set out to finally conquer my fears and get serious about starting my business. This year has been full of ups and downs. I would take several steps forward and then I would take even more steps back. I even sought out a business mentor and completed my business plan. And with the push of friends and family, I made the bold move of ordering physical products in hopes to launch and start selling in the Fall of this year. But when those products finally arrived, they were less than desirable. There were more mugs with imprint errors, than there were ones that I could actually sell. It was a huge disappointment. Luckily, I was able to return the product (all 446 mugs) and received a full refund. Everyone was busy reassuring me that things like this happen and I could easily begin again. But I felt like something was missing all along and that maybe this was a sign. Even with all the progress I was able to make throughout this year, I was still holding myself back from moving forward with everything.

For the past 6+ months I have admittedly been depressed. Which is something I have battled with before. However, it is never easy to openly talk about. And I think that several factors have contributed to my depression this time around. As time has gone on, it has proven to be difficult to stay motivated and be productive while at home full time. Structure is something I never realized I relied on so much until I had to create it for myself. And with lack of a consistent schedule, my sleep habits were a mess. I have gone through periods of staying up all hours of the night with little to no sleep to days where I barely function before noon. I've questioned what I really want my career to look like and IF I have the ability to make it happen. I've allowed fear and insecurities to take over even when I had all the resources. And my family and I continue to try and adjust to a new "normal". 

It wasn't until a few weeks ago, that I finally opened up to a few close friends with all my recent struggles and everything I had been going through. It was hard to put into words at first, but I felt relieved to talk about it openly. And it was in those conversations when I started to realize that it's okay to lose yourself at times. Nobody is perfect. We are all human. We all have shitty things that happen to us in life. And we all certainly go through difficult times. We can't expect ourselves to always keep going when we feel like breaking down. And sometimes you just need to listen to your gut and take a step back. 

I somehow started to build up walls in order to protect myself, but in reality those same walls have made me closed off from the people and things I love most. And I know now that often times you have to break down to get back up. And most importantly, give yourself the chance to cope with things. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. And maybe you have to go through the real tough shit in order to come out better than you were before. 

Now, I am more determined than ever to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. I still have a lot of things to consider and work through. But one thing I know for certain, is that I really want to focus on my blog over the next year. I put so much hard work into building a new website this past April. And I feel like I ended up neglecting the blog over these past few months. Writing has always been such a great outlet and I want to continue to share things that I'm passionate about with y'all. I've already started working on lots of new content for the coming months. 

We are never as broken as we think we are. So, if you're going through a season of change or feel like your life is in chaos. Remember this. EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY. 

XO, Rae 

JORD WOOD WATCHES: THE PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT

The Holiday Season is officially upon us, which means it's time to start thinking about gift giving for friends and family. I'm always looking for unique gifts that stand out from the crowd. And this year I'm excited to be partnering with JORD Wood Watches to help you gift the ones you love, a unique and timeless gift. 

Speaking of gifts, I must have been on the NICE list this year! Because I received an early Christmas gift of my very own wood watch from JORD. I'm wearing the CASSIA walnut and vintage rose  and I'm OBSESSED. This watch is not only GORGEOUS and FEMININE. But it's also stylish and makes for the perfect accessory to compliment any outfit. The CASSIA women's watch features a full roman numeral dial with a metal and wood interlocked band. JORD watches are so unique because they each feature 100% natural, hand finished woods. And they offer styles for both men and women, making it easy to get all of your holiday shopping done early. 

And as a special offer for my followers, JORD is giving you 25% OFF toward your holiday purchases. You can sign up here to receive your 25% OFF coupon code instantly via email. But HURRY, because this offer expires December 15th, 2017!!

You can shop the men's watches here: 

 https://www.jordwatches.com/shop/men/#reinventingraenyc

You can shop the women's watches here:  

https://www.jordwatches.com/shop/women/#reinventingraenyc

Can't wait to see which JORD watch you choose to gift!! Who are you shopping for....Mom? Dad? Boyfriend? Best Friend?  Or are you thinking of treating yourself?! Let me know in the comments below! Make sure to follow along on Instagram for more special offers like this one! 

Watch Gift Ideas

This post was Sponsored by JORD Wood Watches. All opinions are my own.  

XO, Rae

7 TRAVEL TIPS: FOR THE GIRL ON THE GO

There are two types of people when it comes to travel. Those who plan ahead of time and pack days in advance. Or those who wing it and throw together outfits last minute. Personally, I’m a much better travel companion if I plan ahead and take out the guess work.

Traveling can be stressful at times. And since I’ve done more traveling in recent years, I’ve picked up a few habits that help me to feel less anxious when planning trips. So I thought I’d share some tips in case you also want to eliminate some of the stress of traveling.

1. CHECK THE WEATHER FOR YOUR DESTINATION

This might seem obvious. However, weather can change day to day. So, this is the very first thing I do prior to packing. It helps me to narrow down the items I need rather than just packing my entire closet. And as a female, I always like to be prepared when it comes to my outfits. I love using the app Swackett to see the weather for my upcoming destination. Not only does the app give you hourly weather previews, but it also has wardrobe suggestions that are weather appropriate. Packing is a breeze with this app.

2. PLAN YOUR OUTFITS

The method of planning your outfits in advance may seem time consuming, but I promise it will save you time in the end. If you know that on certain days/nights you will need more dressy outfits vs. casual, then this is a great way to plan ahead. I start with laying out each piece of clothing individually. Then I match pieces together to create outfits. Lastly, I add shoes and accessories to each outfit for a completed look. And then I pack everything accordingly. This also helps to give you a visual of what you have in your suitcase. You can also take a photo of each outfit to save for reference on your trip. Planning your outfits ahead of time will also help avoid packing unnecessary items. Because let's be for real, we've all over packed a time or two. No judgement here. 

3. PACK EMERGENCY ITEMS

We've all been guilty of saying the phrase; 'If I didn't pack it, I'll just buy it". Well, that sounds great in theory. However, sometimes getting everyday items in an unknown place can be more trouble than it's worth. You can avoid all that by just bringing a few extra items that you may need during your trip. This way if something comes up, you can be at ease knowing you have these in your suitcase. Items to include are: band aids, Preheels (for those new shoes that will likely give you blisters), pain reliever, aloe vera (if you're planning on being in the sun), feminine products, anti-nausea, etc.) Target & CVS have the best selection of travel sized products.  

 

4. LOOK INTO ATTRACTIONS & EVENTS

Traveling to a new city can be EXCITING! It can also be a daunting task trying to put together an itinerary for a trip. But thanks to social media, it can be easy to create a "wish list" of things to do & see during your stay. Try searching the name of your destination as a #hashtag on Instagram. This will allow you to see all photos that are tagged with that hashtag, often showcasing scenic sites, places to shop and even restaurants within that area. Time Out is also a great resource when planning a trip. You can look up attractions, free things to do and local events within the city you're visiting to help make the most out of your trip.

5. CARRY A TOTE BAG

Tote bags are a necessity when traveling. Especially when you're out sightseeing/shopping and don't want to carry multiple bags through out the day. They also double as a great carry on bag for the flight. You can throw in all of your usual purse items plus extras like headphones, iPad, makeup and more. And if you have a tendency to bring back more than you left with, pack an extra tote bag in your luggage for those items that don't fit for the flight home. This will save you from having to pay any baggage overweight fees. 

6. INVEST IN QUALITY LUGGAGE

Whether you travel often or only a few times a year, buying quality luggage is worth the investment. I recently purchased new luggage from Calpak. And I'm OBSESSED. It's lightweight, glides on eight wheels and has separated compartments inside which provide more space for clothing, shoes & accessories. Calpak offers super sleek designs and durable exteriors making in easy to navigate the streets of the city and running through the airport. It has made traveling so much easier.

7. CHECK IN ONLINE

The airport is one of the most unpredictable places. And with constant changes to airline rules and regulations, it can be time consuming going through security and getting to your assigned gate. Checking In online is a great feature offered by most airlines via their website or mobile app. You can print your boarding pass ahead of time (from home) or download your boarding pass straight to your phone. And if you're traveling with only a carry on, you can bypass the airline check in counter all together. Getting through security is the next challenge. But now with CLEAR, you can navigate the line within minutes. CLEAR is a monthly membership that allows you to bypass the long lines of ID check and gets you straight to the security screening line. If you are a frequent flyer, you can now travel with more ease and save time.   

Now that you're all packed up and ready to go...you can sit back, relax and enjoy your flight to your final destination. Preferably with a cocktail in hand.

What do you find helpful when traveling? Share your travel tips in the comments below.

XO, Dana Rae 

MY CLOSET MAKEOVER: HOW A PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER GAVE ME A DREAM SPACE

Living in New York City has its perks, but it also comes with a few challenges. And one of those challenges is lack of space and storage within your apartment. Especially closet space (or lack there of) really. 

When I moved to New York, I only brought with me what I could fit inside of an S.U.V. and of course that included my ENTIRE closet. Soon after moving into my city apartment, I realized why Carrie Bradshaw kept her sweaters in her stove. I've considered it, but not sure how my roommates would feel about that. Kidding. 

I have attempted several times to organize my closet in effort to make room in my (very small) space. However, no matter what I've tried, it never seems to make a difference. And over the past 2+ years, clothes have just collected and ended up shoved inside of my closet. Even to the point where clothes were spilling over to the outside of my closet. I couldn't even close my closet door because it essentially became a hanging rack of clothes. 

BEFORE

 

But all that changed when I recently partnered with Jamie from Horderly. Jamie is a professional organizer who has a gift for turning your once HOT MESS of a space into a DREAM space. The process was really easy. I first sent Jamie a few photos of my closet for her to evaluate. And then we set a date for her to come to my apartment in person. The day Jamie arrived, we chatted for a bit and she asked a few questions regarding what was in my closet as well as, what I was open to changing. She then began to remove all items from my closet and had me sort through each one to decide if I wanted to keep, purge or donate. This was so satisfying in itself. I had never completely removed everything out of my closet before. And honestly, we found clothes that I had forgotten I even owned. As I separated each item into piles, Jamie was hard at work at re-organizing each piece of clothing that I was keeping, back into my closet.

And there were a few things that Jamie taught me that I feel will help me to keep my closet organized long term. 1. We exchanged all of my plastic hangers for black felt non-slide hangers. (I was skeptical at first) But these are a game changer. They save so much space and aesthetically are pleasing to the eye. 2. Jamie taught me her rule of: 1 IN, 1 OUT. Meaning for each new item you purchase, you have to get rid of one item. I love this concept! Plus, it makes you think about buying new items and decide if you really have a need for them. 3. Categorize items together in your closet. I.e; sweaters together, casual together, activewear together etc. Jamie really made sure to place my clothing items that I wear the most in an accessible place. Which makes it so much easier to get ready in the morning. I no longer have to dig through my closet to find what I'm looking for. 

 AFTER

I absolutely LOVE my new organized closet! I was in shock on how good it looked after Jamie worked her magic. It was so helpful to have a professional come in with a new perspective to help me realize the potential of the space. And not to mention, Jamie was so fun to work with. Honestly, it was like hanging out with a girlfriend, chatting and sorting through clothes. Only thing that was missing was a glass of wine. 

If you're in need of a closet makeover or any other space organized, make sure to reach out to Jamie.  Or if you just need some organizing inspo, you can follow her over @horderlynyc on Instagram. 

XO, Rae 

5 WAYS TO PULL YOURSELF OUT OF A FUNK

We are all subject to falling into a funk from time to time. Because well...life happens. Maybe you feel stuck in a rut, overwhelmed, burnt-out or even unmotivated in everyday tasks. It's easy to loose ourselves in the process of trying to keep up with it all. Our jobs, friendships, relationships, family, social calendars and everything in between. 

Life can be hectic and chances are, it's not slowing down anytime soon. So the next time you find yourself in a funk, here are 5 ways you can pull yourself out and get back to living your life. 

1. GET OUTSIDE

I know that your comfy bed & a pint of Ben & Jerry's is tempting when you’re feeling down and out. And it's easy to just want to seclude yourself from the rest of the world. But fresh air can do wonders. Even if you have to force yourself....GET UP, GET DRESSED & GET OUT of the house. Go for a walk/run or just put your bare feet in the grass. It’s actually called grounding and you can read more about it here. My friend Jackie swears by this and I've tried it, and IT WORKS! 

2. TREAT YO' SELF

Not that buying things is the way to solve your problems or that you have to spend money on yourself every time you fall into a slump. But IF it makes you feel better and you can afford it, DO IT! Take yourself out for coffee, splurge on a new piece of clothing or pamper yourself with a mani + pedi. If you want a more budget friendly option, you could have an at home spa day. Taking time out for YOU, can help boost your mood and help take your mind off of things. 

3. PHONE A FRIEND

We all get by with a little help from our friends, am I right?! So, why not lean on them when you need them the most. Your real friends will understand that there are times you may just need to vent and have a listening ear. Sometimes just talking about what's going on in our life helps us to feel better and less alone. And often our friends struggle with similar things as us. The more you open up to the people around you, the more you will create an open dialogue. And who better than your closest friends to give you advice and help you through the difficult stuff. 

4. SHARE YOUR STORY

Now days we have this notion that we can only share the "perfect" things in our life on social media. But people don't want nor expect your life to be 'PERFECT 24/7'. Life can be complicated at times. And sometimes it's okay to share that. I personally feel relieved when seeing other people open up on social media, that they are struggling with something in their life. Why?! Because it means that they are just like me, human. And it actually makes you more relatable to others. We tend to get caught up with only posting pretty squares on Instagram. But people want to see the real YOU. I promise you'll be surprised by the kindness of strangers. 

5. TAKE A DAY OFF  

Self care is the best care. Schedule a day for just YOU. Take a personal day from work, cancel any meetings, unplug from social media, leave your inbox as is and turn your phone off. The laundry can stay in a pile on the floor for one more day, emails can wait and work will still be there tomorrow. Allow yourself 24 hours to do NOTHING. You can binge watch Netflix and not have to change out of your pajamas if you see fit. Pants optional. When it all feels like too much, give yourself the chance to recharge. 

What do you find helpful when trying to pull yourself out of a funk?! Comment below. 

XO, Rae  

5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM BLOGGING: 2 YEAR BLOGIVERSARY

This past week, I celebrated the second anniversary of my blog 'Reinventing Rae NYC'. What started out as a way to let friends/family get a glimpse into my life here in the city, soon became more than that. Writing has also become an outlet and has allowed me to connect with so many amazing people through my blog and social media. I learned so much in my first year of blogging. And this year has been more trial and error. I focused more on social media, being more intent with my content, as well as design. My website underwent a huge makeover last month and I decided to change platforms using Squarespace. It has been by far the best investment I've made with my blog. This year I also realized that blogging is something I really want to start treating as a business and I've learned a lot along the way. 

1. BE AUTHENTIC

My goal from the very beginning has been to be 100% real when it comes to the content on my blog . And I've always said I wanted to share the good with the bad and even the messy parts of my life. This has proven to be something that my audience appreciates. Often times it's when I write the most real and vulnerable blog posts, is when my audience engages the most. It's easy to only want to share the pretty stuff, but life isn't perfect and your readers don't expect for you to be either. Your audience will want to follow your journey even more if they feel like they can relate to you, perfect or not. 

2. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER'S

Now days with social media, it's easy to get caught up in the comparison trap. And often times with so many bloggers out there, it's hard to feel like you stand out from the crowd. But I've learned that there IS enough room for everyone, including myself. Every blogger has a different story and purpose. And that's what makes it great for bloggers, we all bring something different to relate to. So don't waste time comparing yourself to someone else out there. People will follow you for being YOU.

3. ENGAGE WITH YOUR AUDIENCE

In my first year of blogging, I wasn't consistent enough with engaging with my audience and it was definitely something I wanted to change. I didn't always know how or what to say to get people to want to comment on my blog posts or Instagram photos. So one thing, I've done differently is ask more questions with each blog post and social media posts. This has helped in getting the conversation flowing. I also try to comment on other bloggers content and social media as often as I can. For me, one of the best things about being a Blogger, is getting to interact with followers and other creatives.

4. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP

There is so much more to blogging than just writing great content. There's choosing a platform, social media, photography, networking, promoting, collaborating and lots of planning in between. It's impossible to know how to do everything because blogging is constantly evolving. Thankfully Facebook groups exist, where like minded bloggers can ask all the questions and get advice on areas where you may not be as knowledgeable. One of my favorite Facebook groups is Think Creative Collective. I've learned to stop trying to learn it all on my own and ask for help when needed. Because trust me, no one has it all figured out at first! 

5. DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Being a blogger means getting to write about the things you LOVE. Whether it be fashion, beauty, lifestyle or the city you live in. And getting to share my life here in New York with complete strangers is pretty amazing. Blogging for me, has given me the opportunity to share life stories, connect with amazing people and has often been like free therapy in the process. It's true what they say, if you love what you do, then it doesn't feel like work.  

What would you like to see more of on the blog!? Drop your ideas in the comments below.

XO, Rae

HOW TO COPE WITH DIVORCED PARENTS AS AN ADULT

Divorce is something I am all to familiar with. At the age of two, my mother divorced my father. I don't really remember much other than my father not being around afterward. But years later, I remember reading something my mother wrote in my baby book. She wrote how she hoped that the divorce wouldn't screw me up. 

My Mom remarried when I was 7 years old. And my stepfather essentially became the Dad that I never had and took on the role of raising me. They both have helped shape me into the person I am today and we have always been close. But no family is perfect and ours certainly wasn't. After 25 years of marriage, they separated last year and have since divorced. 

I knew it was for the better but it broke me down in ways I never could have imagined. I wasn't prepared for the aftermath and how it would effect me not having the parental unit I was accustomed to having all these years. The first six months I felt depressed and sad by everything that was taking place. One parent was moving on too fast and starting a whole new life and one parent was still struggling to deal with the reality. I felt torn between the two and neither one of them seemed to notice my feelings at all. 

And to make it worse, there was little comfort or understanding from friends and family. Everyone seemed to have the same attitude of "oh well, life happens". But it was MY life and it did matter. And trust me, I never thought that being in my thirties and having divorced parents would be such a big deal. But the truth is, divorce is hard no matter what age you are. You are not bullet proof to the emotions of something just because you're an adult. 

I've had to learn how to set boundaries with both parents all while trying to rebuild my relationship with them individually. How to factor in holidays and visits and everything in between. And because there is no manual on how to deal with it all. I felt like I needed to share the things that helped me in the process. 

1. TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED TO

By this I mean, distance yourself if need be. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Both parents have to deal with their new reality and you have to allow yourself the time to do the same. And don't feel guilty about it. We all need a break from time to time.

2. SORT THROUGH YOUR FEELINGS

You may feel a sense of loss and sadness and it's important to recognize those feelings and deal with them. Talk to someone, write down how you feel and be honest with yourself. And know that you're allowed to feel this way even if others don't understand it.

3. FIND ONE PERSON YOU CAN CONFIDE IN

Your friends may not be sympathetic to your situation. And like any big change in life, you will need someone who can be a listening ear when needed. I am so thankful for my friend, Jackie. She took my calls at any time of day and was there for me when ever I needed a friend. I told her things that I could barely admit to myself. Having someone there you can trust and confide in will help you to get through the worst of days.

4. BE OPEN TO THE CHANGES YOUR PARENTS WILL MAKE IN THEIR LIVES

To be honest, this is still something I am getting used to. It's not easy to see your parents move on and be with other people. And they often start to live a completely different life than they did before. But if I've learned anything through this process, it's that everyone deserves to be happy. And although you may not agree with their new life decisions, it's their choice to make.

5. SET BOUNDARIES

At some point you will have to set boundaries with each parent. And it can often feel like you're putting them in "time out". But in order for you to have a healthy relationship with them individually, you will have to let them know when they are crossing a line. And it's okay to not want to hear every detail of their divorce, or who did what wrong and even things about their new significant other. YOU get to set the boundaries of what makes you comfortable.

6. ESTABLISH INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH PARENT

Now that each parent has moved on in different directions. You will have to reestablish your relationship with each parent individually. You will also have to find ways to communicate, share holidays and factor in visits. Dedicate some time to spend with each parent separately to re-familiarize yourself with one another. 

It's been a long year of high emotions, changes and accepting the reality of my family's new normal. But I'm thankful that we each seem to have found some sort of peace within ourselves amidst the chaos.  

If you've experienced divorce, what helped you to cope?

XO, Rae

NYC LIVING: 12 RULES OF LIVING IN NEW YORK

Living in New York City isn't always easy. Although most New Yorkers couldn't imagine living anywhere else, including myself. It takes a certain amount of patience and resilience to live here. However, there are some ways to make the day to day life in the city a bit easier. Here are some tips for living in New York.

1. MASTER THE ART OF PACKING FOR THE DAY

A typical day in New York can consist of many things; including work, a gym session, happy hour or even a night out to dinner and a Broadway show. Packing a bag for the day is essential. Because often times you don't have time to make the trip home in between activities. I usually carry with me everything from a change of shoes, dry shampoo, hair brush, make up bag, jacket, a book, umbrella and phone charger. Most places including restaurants have bag check so you never have to worry about having your hands full when out somewhere. 

2. DRESS IN LAYERS

No matter the season here in the New York, you will often find yourself constantly stuck between hot & cold. Being that you will spend most of your time outside, you never know what the weather may bring. Wearing layers that you can remove or add is key. This way you can be comfortable no matter what the temperature is outside or even inside.

3. ALWAYS CARRY CASH

Although we live in the world of debit cards and Venmo. There are still many places in the city that ONLY accept cash. This includes Bodegas, your favorite food truck and even some restaurants. Always carry cash, you never know when you may need it. 

4. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE RUNNING LATE

New Yorkers may often seem like they're in a hurry. And that's because more often than not, they are. Walking blocks/avenues, hailing cabs and chasing after the Subway is exhausting. No matter how much you plan ahead, you can't predict traffic or the MTA for that matter.

5. LEARN DIRECTIONS (CROSS STREETS) 

When it comes to directions, New Yorkers go by streets and not addresses. Even when taking a cab, make sure to know the cross streets of your destination. Because chances are high your cab driver won't know the physical address if given by itself. 

6. TIP YOUR DELIVERY GUY

The holy grail of New York City is delivery. You can get Chinese takeout, weekly groceries or even a bottle of wine delivered right to your apartment doorstep. But having this luxury means someone else is doing the heavy lifting. Which often includes schlepping through the snow, rain and even up flights of stairs. Make sure to tip accordingly. 

7. FIND FREE THINGS TO DO IN THE CITY

It's no secret that living in New York is expensive. However, there is always something to do in the city and often times it can come with little to no cost. It's all about staying up to date on the latest events and FREE things to do in NYC. Year round there are free concerts, festivals, street fairs, free museum days and more that don't have to break the bank. 

8. DON'T TAKE UP THE SIDEWALKS

New Yorkers walk with a purpose. And if given the chance they may in fact run you over if you're in their way. In order to avoid this, steer to the right when walking on the sidewalks, in order to let people pass you on the left. And NEVER stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Step to the side if needed so foot traffic can keep moving. This is basic NYC etiquette. 

9. BE NICE TO THE SUPER OF YOUR BUILDING

The Super of your apartment building is essentially responsible for any and all maintenance. At some point or another you may need your Super for any one of these things: re-caulk your shower, kill a rodent, install your window AC unit or even help you get into your apartment after locking yourself out. So needless to say, it pays to be nice to your Super because you never know when you may need him to come to your rescue.

10. NEVER GET ON THE EMPTY TRAIN CAR

There is no worse feeling than when you realize that you just stepped into any empty train car. Leaving you with no choice but to wait it out until the next stop. Because it means one of two things: either there is a homeless person making that train car their home for the night or the AC isn't working and you're going to be sweating for the next few minutes until you reach the next stop. Neither of which make for a pleasant train ride.

11. TAKE A CAB AFTER MIDNIGHT

Remember when your parents used to tell you; nothing good happens after midnight. Well, this applies to the Subway in New York City. Not only will it take you twice as long to get home due to train delays, you'll most likely have to endure drunk passengers or a crowded train with standing room only. Taking a taxi or Uber is totally worth the extra money spent to get home safely.

12. MAKE TIME TO ESCAPE THE CITY

New York can take a toll on you with long work hours and the constant hustle of the city. So it's important to take advantage of any downtime you have. Whether you take a day to Netflix and chill, spend an afternoon at Central Park or book a weekend getaway, do it often. 

What are some rules of living in NYC that you've adopted?  

XO, Dana Rae

SHINY AND NEW: THE RELAUNCH OF REINVENTING RAE NYC

If you're reading this, then you are seeing the NEW and IMPROVED site for REINVENTING RAE NYC. Ahhhhh, I'm so excited to share this NEW space with y'all. It has been weeks of editing, writing, late nights and LOTS of coffee! But it is FINALLY done and I could not be more HAPPY with the outcome. And if you're new to my blog- WELCOME! 

When I first started this blog (almost 2 years ago) I had no idea where it would take me. Over the past two years, I have learned so much and grown as a writer. I love being able to share with you, my life here in New York City as well as everything in between. Blogging has also connected me with some amazing creatives and other bloggers. I want this new site to be BIGGER and BETTER and full of more content!

SO, WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT TO SEE ON THE NEW SITE? 

Well, to start, this is a whole new platform. I moved all of my content over from Blogger to Squarespace. Which is a HUGE upgrade in itself. I also revised EVERY SINGLE BLOG POST!! I updated the content, images and made sure it was relevant to the blog overall. I'm also going to be posting new blog posts each week that will cover everything from beauty, lifestyle, travel and of course all things NEW YORK. And I'm also working on a new monthly blog post that will feature the "BEST PLACES TO BRUNCH IN NYC". l'll give you the low down on all the hot spots, as my friend Leigh Ann and I, brunch our way through the city. In addition, I'm looking forward to sharing more 'Guides to NYC'. So, whether you have never visited New York before or you've been to the city several times, you can have access to all the latest things to do during your visit. 

I promise there is much more to come in this relaunch of Reinventing Rae NYC. And I can't wait for you to check it all out! Thank you for being here and following along!! 

XO, Rae

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BEING SINGLE IS OFTEN A CHOICE WE MAKE ON PURPOSE

If you're a SINGLE girl like me, chances are high that you are often reminded of it. Most friends and even strangers for that matter, generally have no hesitations on asking about your love life or lack there of. And of course friends like to remind you that "any guy would be lucky to have you". Well, maybe they have been lucky to have me but what they don't realize is that they were ALWAYS the wrong guys. 

I think Carrie Bradshaw said it best:

“Being SINGLE used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty, sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”

— Carrie Bradshaw

The first guy I ever fell for, was when I was 16 yrs old. We formed a friendship almost instantly but I soon realized my feelings for him were way more complicated. I eventually fell hard but he kept me in the friend zone. So, like a good friend, I stood by him as each of his relationships would fall short of 'happily ever after'. And there I would be, wondering why he didn't choose ME instead? We spent almost all of our time together and with the exception of sex, it felt like we were dating more often than not. I remember feeling as if i was playing the role of his girlfriend just without any of the benefits. And I guess I played the role a little to well, because he kept me around. There would later be blurred moments on and off of us crossing the friend line. But the universe always seemed to stop us before we went too far. Eventually, I would move to another state and years later he would end up in that same state. No, not for me. But with his then, wife. He would later confess to me, that he had often thought "what it would be like" if we had ended up together. I guess he finally realized what he had in front of him all those years. But by now, I was in a long term relationship and wasn't looking to go down that road again. 

Then there was the guy who I would sneak around to date because he was old enough to buy beer and I wasn't. SORRY, Mom! He was in his party phase when we first met and I was still in high school. Our physical attraction to each other was always stronger than anything else. We dated on and off for a few years and even again in my twenties but I couldn't find myself sticking around long term. I think when you're younger, you like the chase more than the actual idea of a relationship. We are completely different people and ultimately that is what drove us apart. That and the fact that I couldn't see myself with him indefinitely. He was always way more into me than I was into him. Although, he is the kinda guy that you wish you could see yourself with. 

Over the years there would be a few other guys. Nothing serious and nothing long term for the most part. And there would even be a guy I would later date and reluctantly go out with. He was the "new guy" in town and started working at the same job as me. He told everyone he was a "business guy" in between jobs and had just relocated back to the city to be closer to his family after a recent separation with his wife. He was charming to say the least and made friends with everyone we worked with. But he had everyone fooled, including me. Until one day, all of his lies would surface and his past would come back to get him, literally. He would end up in jail, tell me it was all a "misunderstanding" all while pleading his innocence. By this time, I had already fallen for him and his story. So much so that I visited him in jail for weeks, paid for numerous collect calls and lied to my parents and friends about what was really going on. Only to eventually watch it all unravel in the end. I will never forget the day I sat with his mom while the Feds came and picked him up from county jail. As I sat there behind the thick glass of the visiting room, it felt like I was watching a scene from a movie. Except it was my real life and I was living it. Needless to say, I ended things that day. 

The next guy that would come into my life would leave a mark forever. To date, my longest relationship of 6+ years, with a man whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I spent the majority of my twenties learning this lesson. The years you're supposed to be single and/or dating just for fun. I thought I was ahead of the game and found "the one" early in life but later that would prove not to be the case. We met while working at a restaurant together. We had mutual friends but had only met each other in passing initially. One day during a casual conversation, we discovered that we both had moved to Georgia from South Florida. We also realized that we had both graduated from the same high school (3 years apart) and lived less than a mile from each other in that same city in Florida. It seemed like destiny at first but destiny like many things in life can be total BS. We had a great relationship until it wasn't. And in between that was love, cheating, making up, breaking up, moving in, moving out and eventually more heart break than either one of us could bare. We would try and put the pieces back together too many times to count. Fear of letting go would keep us holding on but we both knew it was also tearing us apart. We were never really out of each other's lives even after we broke up for good. And a part of me wanted to believe that he could change and be the person that I first fell in love with. I think a part of him also wanted to believe that as well. 

When he found out I was moving to New York. He asked me to stay. But I left anyway. A year later, he told me he wanted to try again and said he was ready to settle down. The one thing I always wanted but never got from him, was commitment. Here he was telling me what I had always wanted to hear but now it wasn't what I wanted. I traded in that dream for a bigger one. A dream driven by success on my terms, happiness within myself and living in one of the greatest cities ever, New York. 

So, if you have a Single friend, don't ask her 'why'? Don't look at her as damaged. Just know that there is more that lies under the surface of why she is protective of her heart. I still believe in love and hope one day there will be a man who will make me forget any of the crappy relationships I've had. Until then, I am enjoying being single. Because it's gonna take one hell of a guy to change that.

XO, Rae