SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR

Finally, I had some time this evening to sit down and blog. Life has been non-stop with the holidays, traveling and working from home. But I could not let the year come to an end without reflecting back and sharing one last blog entry with you all before we embark on 2016!

This year by far has been one to remember. So many changes & so many things that all fell into perfect place.

I settled into a new city and still can't believe that I get to call New York home. I never imagined being so happy here and feeling so comfortable in such a short amount of time. It still feels exhilarating every day that I get to spend here.

I quit a job that I once dreamed of having. It in turn made me realize that you always have a choice to walk away from something if you are not happy. And it also made me take a chance on myself. I had no plan B and although it terrified me, I knew that my happiness was worth the risk. Even through other's doubts and questions of my next move, I realized that sometimes in life you are allowed to not have a plan. You do not owe anything to anyone. But you do owe yourself, everything!

I closed the door to my past for the last time. The classic story of too little to late. He would say "I'm sorry" and ask for me to come back and all I could do was say "I can't". Even though I know I will never love anyone as much as I loved him. I know I could never allow myself to go back. I used to not be that strong and would have done anything to let him back in my life but this time was different because well, I was different. 

I removed toxic people from my life, met new friends and even reconnected with old ones. I definitely believe everyone holds a purpose in your life no matter how long or short lived. However, life is so much better when you have the right people to share it with. And I am lucky to have such amazing family & friends in my life. I would not be the person I am without them. 

Most of all I learned to trust the journey. And by far the best lesson of 2015! You may not be exactly where you think you should be but trust me you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It's the moments that we often forget to enjoy because we are so focused on what comes next. So, as we welcome 2016 and a NEW YEAR ahead, my hope is for you to enjoy the moments along the way. The rest will fall into place. 

CHEERS to 2016! And thank you for following my journey!

XO,  Rae

I ❤️ NY: YEAR 1 OF LIVING IN NEW YORK CITY

I recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary of living in New York City. October 10th, 2014 at 3 am is when I officially became a resident of New York. As I drove over the George Washington Bridge into Manhattan, there were so many emotions. Mostly I remember feeling excited for what was to come with living in New York. There I was in a packed SUV with my best friend & my Mom. After 16+ hours of driving up the east coast, I was anxious to get to my new apartment. We pulled up shortly after 3 am and made the decision to go ahead and unload the SUV. 

My first dose of NYC apartment living was carrying boxes up five flights of stairs. I think I cursed most of the way up and down.

 After about an hour we finally had everything unloaded and into the apartment. I had seen the apartment in photos prior to moving but seeing my bedroom in person, it was even smaller than I remembered. I was unsure if any of my things would fit and wondered how could I live in such a small space. I mean here I was literally downsizing to a small bedroom barely big enough for a full size bed from my spacious 900+ sq. ft apartment in Atlanta. I started to break down. There it was, all the months of preparation of moving, leaving my job, leaving all of my friends & my life behind in Atlanta along with being cooped up in a car for 16+ hours all hit me at that exact moment. I remember I just slid down the wall as the tears ran down my face and I began to question everything. This went on for about an hour. Everyone was nice or maybe smart enough to just let me be alone for awhile. I finally pulled myself together and came out of my room, walked into my best friends bedroom where he, his boyfriend and my mom were all siting there drinking wine. My eyes all swollen from crying, I smiled and asked for a glass for myself. 

So there we sat until after 6am drinking wine and laughing at my meltdown. I knew in that moment, that everything would be okay. I just needed to release all of the emotions that had been building over the months prior to moving.

I look back on that day now and I think how happy I am that I embarked on this journey of moving to New York. 

Living in New York has been exhilarating. It hasn't been perfect by any means but pretty darn close. The energy you feel here never wears off. That's what I love most about this city. You always feel inspired here. Each day is something different and to be in awe of. I can't describe it in words, you have to feel it for yourself. I hope that feeling never goes away. This past year has also had many unexpected moments. I landed an amazing job when I first got here and then quit after 6 months, I started a blog about my life and have taken the time to rediscover myself. The Subway once terrified me, now I'm the one getting asked for directions. I can hail a cab even in the rain. And I have even learned how to dress like a New Yorker. So many changes have happened in just a year but in a strange way, I feel it was all meant to be. 

I could not have made it through the past year without the support of my amazing friends and family. 

To my Grandfather, who without him I would not have been strong enough to make the decision to move to NYC and make this life change. He inspired me to live a life with NO REGRETS. And to him, I will always be grateful for instilling that in me. I miss you everyday Granddaddy and I hope I’m making you proud. 

To my Mother, who is always by biggest supporter in life. She never tells me my dreams are too big or too crazy. I owe her everything for always being there for me. I love you MOM!

To my brother and my Dad, Thank you for believing in me and telling me how proud you are. It means more than you will ever know. I love you both!

To my best friend Lindsey, thank you for taking my calls on good days and bad days. Most of all, thank you for not letting distance change our friendship. I am so lucky to have you as my friend. 

To Danny, Thank you for taking a chance on living with your boyfriend's best friend after have only meeting me once in person. Thank you for being there on days I needed it most. I am so glad we have become friends over the past year.

To my best friend Will, it was YOU who convinced me over the course of 5 years to move to New York. You knew way before I did that I would love it here. Thank you for always pushing me in life and always being there. I can't imagine my life without you. In the end, its always you & I.

To all of my friends and family who have encouraged me on this journey, who have called, sent cards, letters or just been there for me. Thank you!! Nothing in life is worth having if you can't share it with the people you love most.  

I knew moving to New York would change my life. I just didn't know how. And I'm so glad it did. I am not the same person I was 12 months ago. I feel more confident, more open to change and more willing to let life take me where I am meant to be. My friends tell me how happy I sound on the phone, so I guess it shows. Anything is possible if you let it be. Don't be afraid to make a life change. It could just be exactly what you need. Thank you New York for an incredible first year. I can't wait to see what this next year has in store for me. 

XO, Rae

HOW I BECAME COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN

I have always had body issues ever since I can remember. My weight has always fluctuated partially to bad habits, not enough exercise and skipping meals. I've never wanted to be super skinny, maybe just a healthier version of myself. It wasn't until I turned 27, that I really started to embrace my body. And for once in my life, I began to feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't remember what the pivotal moment was. I just remember I stopped being so hard on myself about trying to fit into a certain size jeans or achieve a certain weight. For a long time I struggled with my self confidence and only saw myself as how I compared to other women. 

Even at the age of 32, I still fluctuate with my weight and I will probably always be nagging over those 20lbs. But I don't let myself get down about it anymore. I just work a little harder and eat smarter if I don't like what I see in the mirror. I will never be skinny by any means. Personally, I just don't want to be that way. I like having curves. I ultimately just want to be healthy. I don't want to be defined by a number on a scale. 

I also had to stop focusing on the size of clothing. Sizing can be so misleading. And it's a known fact that not all brands are created equal when it comes to clothing sizes. I now just buy clothes that fit my body type and focus more on how I feel when wearing the clothing. 

Something else that has helped me to have a more positive outlook on my curvy body, is seeing how it is more accepted now days. It's refreshing to see more and more women embracing their real bodies. I mean for a plus size model like Ashley Graham to walk in New York Fashion Week, that is a GAME CHANGER. And it helps to shed light on the topic of what is considered to be a "normal body" in today's society. It also shows that women can be beautiful at any size.   

You are NOT your weight. You are beautiful no matter what size you are.  And only once you truly begin to realize that will you learn to love yourself even more. Don't let society, family, friends or even your own insecurities dictate how you perceive yourself. Be happy. Be healthy. And love your body, flaws and all!

XO, Rae

20 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

You visit my blog, support me & share this journey with me here. So, I thought you may want to know a bit more about me on a personal level. Here are 20 Random Facts about myself.

1. Rae is actually my middle name. It wasn't until my twenties that I really started to embrace it.

2. I'm happiest when CREATING or PLANNING something. Especially party planning. 

3. I think handwritten 'Thank You' notes never go out of style. 

4. I'll admit, I'm a big Real Housewives fan. My favorite housewife is Bethenny Frankel. #RHONY

5. I am way more productive if I write out my to-do list. 

6. I'm a WINE kinda gal. Red, White, Rosé, Sparkling….I love it all.

7. I can recite all the words to 'JUICY' by The Notorious B.I.G.

8. Music is my love language. 

9. As a kid, my report cards always said “talkative in class”. Guess some things never change.

10. FALL is my favorite season. Pumpkin spice everything.

11. I’m an ONLY child. However, I also have a 1/2 brother and 1/2 sister (same Dad, different Mom’s) 

12. I've always wanted to get a tattoo, but I'm too scared to actually do it. 

13. I love accessories. Big gold hoops are my go-to. 

14. I own a ridiculous amount of lip glosses and lipsticks. I carry at least three with me at all times. Anyone else have this problem?!

15. My favorite movie of all time is 'Dirty Dancing'.

16. The word Y'all will always be in my vocabulary. Blame it on my Southern roots.

17. I'm naturally a Red head. (and yes, a hot temper comes with it)

18. Never thought I would actually move to NEW YORK. 

19. Turning 30 was a game changer for me.

20. Always on the hunt for the best Iced Coffee. Coffee is my VICE.

Tell me something about yourself!  Comment below. 

XO, dana Rae

WHY YOUR JOB SHOULDN'T DEFINE WHO YOU ARE

Lately, I dread the question "What do you do?"  It's often the first thing asked when meeting someone for the first time. And it's only natural to ask this question in effort to get to know someone, but it often comes with a reaction based on the answer given. I've never had hesitation of answering what my career is until now. I have always had a job and position in which I was excited to share and speak about. But now that I am not working, this question has made me almost cringe when asked. And I have yet to quite figure out how to answer this question given my current situation.

I made the sound decision to leave my corporate job. But I want people to know more about me and not just how I pay my bills. I don't want to just say, "Well, I quit my high paying job to stay home and write about my life". Doesn't sound so appealing, right? And honestly most people may not understand it. Especially new people that come into my life. I'm pretty sure my parents and friends are still trying to wrap their minds around it. I feel as if no matter how I answer the question, it sounds the same. And my career prior to now almost feels discredited because new people in my life don't know of my prior accomplishments and success.

Let's be honest, when you find out someone isn't working, usually the reaction is negative or envious. You might even make a comment like "Oh, must be nice." I'm sure I have been guilty of this myself. Regardless of the reason why, not having a defined job can have a negative connotation. Often we judge others based on what they do for a living. 

Especially living in New York, career is everything. Most people move here with the sole intention of taking their career to the next level. Don't get me wrong. I have zero regrets about quitting my job. Your job should be what you do, not who you are.

My job was my life. I barely allowed for anything else to take place because I was always putting work first. And most of the time I wasn't happy. 

There is more to me than what I do what for a living. I'm a creative, ambitious, loyal to a fault girl who will always want the most out of life. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of failure but I want to know that I at least tried. And I am constantly evolving and growing into the person I want to become. Who I am today, is NOT who I was ten years ago or even 10 months ago for that matter. 

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you feel like your career can sometimes define who you are?

XO, Dana Rae

TOPICS WOMEN HIDE FROM

As women, there are subjects that we tend to avoid being honest about. And sometimes try to avoid all together. Maybe it's for fear of being judged or looked at differently. However, I think often times it’s not until someone else is honest about their feelings, that we admit we feel the same way. Why are we so afraid of being honest with our selves and even more so with each other?

Getting pregnant is one of life's little miracles. Many women base their whole entire life on when they will become a mother. And when it does, they are overwhelmed with joy. Well maybe not for all women. Some women although very much wanting to carry a child do not feel it's the best experience. And not all women actually like being pregnant. YES, there I said it! I haven't been pregnant myself, but I have watched several friends go through two completely different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. And it's difficult to see the friends who did not have the greatest experience being pregnant feel shameful for feeling that way. Why can't a woman say that she dreads the part of gaining weight, feels like her body is disowning her, never had anything close to a "glow", admits to drinking more than the recommended coffee amounts, desperately wants to drink a glass of wine and has no urge to breastfeed PERIOD. Why is it so frowned upon for a women to speak her truth? You don't hear women who have great pregnancies shy away from telling everyone....and I mean everyone! But the moment a pregnant women even starts to say something that sounds like a negative remark about pregnancy, you can just see the looks of other women judging her. 

Getting married is something you often dream about since you were a little girl. You grow up playing house and even married off your Ken and Barbie dolls. Then as you get older, you date different guys and endure one too many heartbreaks. You see relationships for what they really are. Some great and some that you'd like to forget about. You begin to realize that maybe marriage is not what you want or believe in anymore. But your afraid to even say it out loud much less tell your closest friends and definitely not your Mother. If most of your friends are married or engaged, they would probably just tell you that you're going through a phase. Or tell you that you've just dated the wrong guys and not to worry, your future husband IS out there somewhere. But YOU know deep down that if marriage was somehow NOT in the cards for you, you would probably be okay with that. So, why do we feel this guilt for being brutally honest? And for fear of downplaying our friends marriages and relationships, we reluctantly agree that it's just a phase and tell yourself that you're probably just being a little bitter. 

Hold your head high and NEVER let them see you sweat. We are trained since an early age to have our life plan mapped out. College, Career, Marriage then Babies. But what about PLAN B? Or even better yet, PLAN C, D or even E?? Did anyone ever tell you what happens when plan A doesn't fall into place? I didn't think so. So why is that? It's almost as if plan A doesn't go accordingly, then somehow we must have failed in our life. And even worse we would have to admit that we failed if we tried to discuss it with someone else. Not everyone fits into plan A and that's OKAY. Life is often better lived off script. So what you didn't go to college or graduate. And maybe you're in your thirties just now figuring out what you want to do for a longterm career. And maybe being single is your plan for now, so you can travel first before getting married and having kids. What's SO wrong with that plan? Your life doesn't have to be like everyone else's or even in the same order. But we fear to admit to each other that we like our plan better and that life sometimes tastes better against the grain. 

You should never apologize for how you feel, who you are as a person or where you stand on certain topics. So often we seek approval from others. But being honest in how you feel may likely make others feel relieved. We also look to other women who are just like us. It's much more comforting and inspiring when you have those who are closest to you share in your same feelings. So, next time your faced with these topics, be true to YOU. Make no excuses and remember, you may not be alone. 

XO, Dana Rae

10 THINGS YOU LEARN IN YOUR 30s

Since turning the BIG 3-0, I've learned to fully embrace my thirties. And so far, they have not disappointed. They say with age comes wisdom. So with the help of some friends, I have compiled a list of '10 Things You Learn In Your 30's.'

1. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE

By 30 you start to really get to know who you are as a person and what you want out of life. You become an adult so to speak. Your getting your career on point, your paying bills like a boss and dating like a grown woman. Don't be fearful of who you may become. Be open to the possibilities.

2. YOUR MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT -Kristi E.

It's bound to happen. You will begin to hear yourself channeling your mother and saying to yourself "She was right!"  I even find that I often apologize to my Mom for thinking that she has no idea what I am going through....what I now realize is that she has already been there and done it. Hence why Mom's give the best advice.

3. YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING -Billy B.

Remember when you got invited to go out with your friends and you were so afraid of missing out you would never say 'NO'. Well those days are over. You just worked a 40+ hour week, your tired, you have nothing to wear and all you really want to do is go home and watch 'The Real Housewives'. Plus you can live vicariously via Facebook and save yourself the hangover. You will thank yourself in the morning.

4. FAMILY IS NOT ALWAYS BLOOD RELATED -Marisa L.

I agree 100%. Family does not have to be true to definition. Being family means more than just sharing a last name or a bloodline of relatives. It's about being there for someone and making an effort to be a part of their life. You don't get to pick your family but you do get to pick your friends. If your lucky, some of those friends will become family. 

5. IT'S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES -Billy B.

Although you are well into adulthood now. You are still allowed to make mistakes. You don't have to have it all figured out in a perfect Pinterest board. Be open to the idea that things will fall apart at times. But more often than not you will find yourself able to pick the pieces quicker. 

6. SOMETIMES YOU WILL HAVE TO PARENT YOUR PARENTS -Jackie A.

At some point you will find yourself in a moment of being the parent to your parent(s). Whether it's in giving advice or in caring for them as they get older. Both are more of a reality at this age. You will begin to start to worry about them more often, be ultra protective and have to deal with the fact that they are getting older and will need you more than ever. 

7. A FEW GOOD FRIENDS ARE ALL YOU REALLY NEED

At this age, it really is about quality NOT quantity. Life is busy and when you do have down time, you want to invest in those who make it worth while. This isn't high school anymore and you don't need to be in a clique. You need real girlfriends that you can laugh with, confide in and drink bottles of wine with no judgment. 

8. DATE YOURSELF

Ladies, LISTEN UP! You can't expect for someone to love you if you don't love yourself. And sometimes the best way to do that is to date yourself. Meaning put yourself on "a break" and get to know who you are deep down. The only way you are going to know what you want out of a relationship is to know what you have to have offer as well. Try it. I promise you will be a better girlfriend and one day wife for it!

9. SEX IS BETTER IN YOUR THIRTIES- Jennifer S.

Okay, so now that you have dated your self and have sworn off men for awhile. Nothing will get you back in the saddle more than having some good sex. It's true, sex is better in your thirties. Maybe its because of all the bad sex you had in your twenties or because you’re more experienced now? Whatever it is, be thankful! 

10. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER AT 30

Contrary to what you may assume, turning thirty is not as awful as we make it out to be. Sure, it poses the question "What am I doing with my life?" But it doesn't have to be defining of who you are. Your not a failure because you don't have your dream job, not married yet or have kids. Life doesn't give you bonus points for having it all figured out by a certain age. Your thirties are the years that you will change and grow the most. It IS possible that your thirties will be some of the best years of your life.

XO, Rae

THE FRIENDS WE KEEP

Once you're in your thirties you realize that a few true friends are better than the twenty you used to have. I think it's important that women have a close group of girlfriends. I feel blessed to say that I have an amazing group of friends. 

Most of my girlfriends, I met when I was in my twenties. Your twenties are usually your unstable years. When you're partying, making up, breaking up and trying to figure out your life. If your friends can see you at this stage of your life and still be around after, they will typically become lifelong friends. 

All of my girlfriends have this in common: they are loyal, trustworthy and have a genuine interest in my life. I feel these qualities are hard to come by but are crucial when it comes to friendships. Often we surround ourselves with friends who are too caught up in their own life to take notice of ours. Friendship should be equal. It takes work just like any relationship. But in the end you want to feel they are just as invested in your life as you are in theirs.

I think it's also important to have a well rounded group of girlfriends. Different friendships serve different purposes in your life. And if all of your friends were alike, that would be pretty boring right?

One of my girlfriends, Brooke, is a few years younger than me. We are complete opposites in most aspects. She is bold, has never met a stranger and loves the outdoors. I'm more shy and quiet at first and not very outdoorsy unless it involves drinking on a patio. But we bonded over our passion for life and hard work. We both have recently moved to new states in efforts to chase our dreams. It's amazing to share those experiences with a friend who understands it first hand. 

Jenn is one of my girlfriends that I have known the longest. We met while working at a pediatric medical office and instantly became friends. She is soft spoken, smart, a great mother and can fix almost anything. Seriously, she can put most men to shame. She taught me a lot when I first started at the pediatric office and we both connected over our passion for working in the medical field and helping people. Through the years, we have shared countless stories of failed attempts of meeting Mr. Right, spent many nights out at the bars and have leaned on each other through difficult times. Jenn will forever be my wing woman at the bar and in life. We have had some of the best times and share stories only we can tell. 

Courtney, is my RIDE or DIE friend. Every girl needs one. That friend that never judges you or your mistakes. She is kind, quick witted, outspoken and doesn't let many people into her life easily. I consider myself lucky to be called her friend. She helped me to work through my past relationship with my ex and has always been a great listening ear. She is always honest when giving advice and that is what I love most about her. We have seen each other go through some of the most difficult times in our lives. And we have also celebrated many of life's happy moments like her newly born daughter. She is so worthy of becoming a Mother. She reminds me that even though life is full of unknowns, you still have to ride it out. 

My best friend, Lindsey, I saved for last. She is the most selfless person I have ever met. She is thoughtful, funny, kindhearted and will take you by surprise with her kick ass karaoke skills to 80's & 90's music. She will sing Salt -N- Pepa's "PUSH IT" like nobody's business. We could do nothing but sit in her living room and drink wine all night and be perfectly content. She and I like to do simple things: like go to festivals, eat cheap Mexican food, drink margaritas and craft things. Although she is now a busy Mom, she always makes time for our friendship. We understand each other and never have to apologize for what we say or think. She is honestly more like a sister to me. Friends who become family are the best types of friends. I can see us both sitting on a porch well into our 50's sipping wine and eating mint milanos.

I can't imagine my life without each of them. They are truly the best friends a girl could ever ask for. 

XO, Rae

HOW MOVING TO A NEW CITY INSPIRED PERSONAL GROWTH

Living in New York has made me realize a few things about myself. I am way more comfortable now outside of my comfort zone than I have ever been before. New York exposes you to so much just in every day life. You are constantly surrounded by people. It's true, your personal space is pretty nonexistent most of the time. From crowded streets, subway stations and even grocery stores. But the good thing is that you have a lot more chances of meeting some amazing people. Everyday is like a new experience filled with new opportunities.

I have also learned to embrace change head on. Change used to be something that made me feel anxious and I often avoided it. I've had a lot of change in my childhood and I think that essentially made me fearful of change in my adult life.  

I have settled into the city and adapted to my new life pretty well in the past 8 months. Moving in general can be overwhelming but moving to New York adds a whole new level. Smaller space, roommates, no car, public transportation, longer work hours....the list goes on. All of which seem somewhat normal to me now. I LOVE living here in the city and for once I welcome the change that comes with it.

Fear of failure is also something I'm learning to let go of. I no longer want to say "what if." I want to live the life envision for myself and put my fears aside. It can be scary to chase dreams. But I think having regrets is scarier.  I would rather say that I tried and failed than have never tried at all. I'm learning that the journey is more important than the end result. I created this blog to document my journey here in New York. But also, in hopes that women can relate to the honesty of embracing your thirties and reinventing yourself. In addition, I am writing a book based on my life experiences, relationships, friendships and lessons learned. My goal is to one day publish the book. 

I guess you can say New York has changed me. Or maybe it's that I've allowed myself to be more open to this experience. Either way, I'm so grateful for the growth.

XO, Rae

CHASING DREAMS

Let's back up to about 8 months ago...

When I moved from ATLANTA to NEW YORK. I had just resigned from my job of 7 1/2 years.  I worked in the medical field as a manager for a large private practice. This was my career for the past 10+ years and I loved what I did. Most of all, I loved making a difference and being there for my patients and staff. I've always thought being a manager can have its challenges but it also has it's rewards. There are days you question everything and days you feel like you've conquered it all. 

I took a chance moving to New York without a job. I wanted to move first, get adjusted to the City and then seek out a job. I saved money prior to moving to allow myself this time. After three weeks of living here, I was getting restless staying at home and was eager to get back to work. But of course I had fears. What if I couldn't land a job in New York? What if I wasn't good enough for the same type position?  What if? 

These doubts were constantly on my mind but I knew I had to put myself out there in order to see what I was up against. Surprisingly, once I started putting my resume out there, I received some very encouraging feedback. 

Within a two week period, I was hired and started my new job right before Thanksgiving. The company that hired me was actually similar to the one I had worked for in Atlanta, but the position was a huge move up on the career ladder. And I was ecstatic to have this incredible opportunity. I was so unsure of how I would land on my feet here and this was beyond anything I expected. 

I've been with the company now for a little over 6 months. I feel like I've given it my best. But I recently made the difficult decision to resign. Although I love the company, I've come to find that it's just not the right fit for me. For those who know me, know that this decision does not come easy. I have NEVER quit a job. I pride myself on my work. Honestly, for the past 10+ years, work has consumed my life. 

But what I have come to realize, is happiness out weighs EVERYTHING else in life. As I finish up my last week of work, I am unsure of my next move for the first time in my life. And I'm strangely calm about the situation. I feel that I have learned a lot about myself these past few months since moving to New York. I'm not afraid of change anymore. I've already been pushed outside my comfort level and I hope that this will only push me farther. 

I have dreams of finishing a book I'm writing, growing my blog and one day becoming an entrepreneur. As they say in life, sometimes you have to close one door before another one can open. I'm hoping this is true. I feel inspired again for the first time in a long time. And I want to create the life I envision for myself.

No one ever said chasing dreams would be easy but they did promise it would be worth it! 

XO, Rae